Ask Dr. Jackie

Ask Dr. Jackie:

My wife and I have been married for 6 years. In the beginning, we would have sex once a day, and now we have sex about 3 or 4 times a week. While I am happy with this situation, my wife is constantly coming on to me, begging me to sleep with her all the time. I feel like I just can't keep up. I'm stressed about work and the bills, and all she wants is sex. I love her, and the sex is great; but there's more to life than just sex.

Are we doomed to have a life of sexual difference? Is there some kind of median we can reach here? I don't want her to cheat on me, but I just can't give her sex every single day anymore. Please help.

I often focus on primary love relationships and family relationships, but this time I am going to take a sharp left turn and talk about business relationships.

This isn't really such a sharp departure; if you think about it. And here's why: Relationships drive everything in life.

Couples join forces with one another by forming agreements.  Agreements are expressed in writing or verbally during very intentional conversations. 

Most of us have never learned how to craft effective, explicit agreements.  It is a skill we were never taught, even though it is fundamental to all relationships and a basic life skill.

This is a method I believe every committed couple should learn and use over and over again. It is also works beautifully with any two or more people who wish to make agreements that honor who they are and their relationship, and ensure that they end up in a Win-Win outcome.

Effective Agreements

Life is an ongoing process of creating agreements with others.  An effective agreement means more than getting another person to do what you want.  It means buy-in and true commitment from both people.

Successful Agreements

Your overall effectiveness in making and honoring agreements is greatly increased if you pay attention to three important elements:

1. Clarify your personal Values.
2. Clarify your Vision as an individual.
3. Clarify your Vision and Purpose as a Couple.

These three pieces will provide a strong foundation from which to commit to your agreements and achieve more consistent and satisfying results. 

It’s Valentine’s Day again!  Let Valentine’s Day this year be the bell of awareness ringing in your ear, reminding you to carve out the time to connect with the one who stole your heart.  Retailers and Madison Avenue would like us to all rush out and buy chocolate; flowers, mushy cards and teddy bears.  But consider this instead: