Does More Time Really Equal More Fun?

Most of us have a lifetime of responding to the signals of others without regard for who we are or what we need or want. The “art of being” is the order of the day; the art of knowing and accepting yourself; living in passion and joy; embracing and valuing fun and leisure.

Every day we are bombarded by erroneous and damaging messages in the culture that tell us that personal happiness, having fun, and self interest are bad and wrong, evil in some way, not worthy or valuable pursuits.

There must be a balance of work and play, seriousness and fun, activity and rest. Being in harmony with your true nature and living the life you were meant to live, means you must reconnect with that natural self and honor and affirm that self on an on-going basis. It means cherish your own desires, formulate your own values, and remain true to them.

Begin to take time for yourself without deciding that each moment has to be spent productively. In the beginning you may have to schedule this time to ensure that you take it. Many adults never become completely comfortable playing or even with the idea of having fun or spending leisure time.

Here is an exercise you can use to help you uncover and discover underlying beliefs about fun, deserving to have fun, spending money to create the opportunity to have fun, and wanting to be with others or by yourself when you have fun.

Continue reading

Divorce is a Legitimate Choice

For many men and women in a wide variety of situations divorce is a legitimate and appropriate choice.

Getting divorced is a process and consists of 3 main elements:

  • Emotional
  • Financial
  • Legal

Healing from divorce is not easy. It is often a long and excruciating process and always brings out strong emotions. The divorce process frequently leaves people feeling lonely, flawed, enraged, undesirable, helpless, empty and emotionally raw and overwhelmed.

If you or someone you know is going through a divorce, the best recommendation I have is to put together a team of knowledgeable, experienced professionals who will work on your behalf for the best possible outcome for you!

Lawyers, mediators, therapists, coaches, accountants, clergy and financial planners all have valuable points of view to consider. If you have children, stay in close communication with your children’s teachers and the parents of their friends.

An important part of the repair process is learning to honor and heal the many emotions of divorce. Please remember that all these emotions are a normal and natural response to divorce: Continue reading

Touched by The Heart of A Woman

Mothers have been recognized in special ways for thousands of years, since Ancient Greece.

The month of May is the month that people in many parts of the world specifically celebrate Mothers.

As a tribute to women all across the globe, I am re-printing this wonderful and heart-warming poem written by Bonnie Ross-Parker. Ms. Ross-Parker’s contact information is at the end of this poem if you wish to contact her directly.

“The heart of a woman is as big as life. She initiates conversations with strangers in the bathroom. She recommends the perfect place to find the perfect dress to a woman she meets at the beauty salon. She clips coupons to send to her daughter-in-law. She smiles when she would rather scream, cries when she is happy, and often says “yes” when she means “no.”

A woman keeps the refrigerator full just in case someone stops by unexpectedly. A woman fights for what she believes in by supporting community endeavors with both time and money. She listens to friends, helps with homework, and gives unconditional loves.

Women cry over their children’s accomplishments, during a romantic movie, while reading sentimental cards at a card shop or when opening a special present. Women openly express happiness when hearing about the birth of a baby, an engagement, or a marriage. Women share their emotions from their heart.

Women remain strong even when they think they have no strength left. They comfort loved ones in mourning, visit friends and family who are ill, and offer hugs and kisses to soothe broken hearts. Simply put, women connect! They write letters, make phone calls, send e-mails and stay in touch. Women care!

Women are present wherever and whenever they are needed. They intuitively know where to offer their love and support. Women do more than give birth. Where a woman is there exists joy and hope. She brings compassion and companionship. She gives moral support. She acknowledges. She reassures. Women are mothers, daughters, wives, lovers, sisters, aunts, and grandmothers. They give, they guide, and stay grounded. They are amazing not only for what they accomplish, but for the values they impart. Women earn our respect every day not only because of what they do, but because of who they are.

When you are touched by the heart of a woman, and realize how wonderful she is, be sure to let her know.”

Poem re-printed with permission from Bonnie Ross-Parker
Web site: http://www.bonnierossparker.com

To Celebrate and Honor All Moms around the world this month, the dedicated team at DrJackieBlack.com would like to take this opportunity to say…

Je t’aime, Maman!
Te amo, Màma!
Ich liebe dich, Mutter!
S’ayapo, Màna!
Ya tyebya lyublyu, Mat’!
Ti amo, Madre!
Ani ohevet otach, Ima!
I love you, Mom!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
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Spring Cleaning of Your Mind, Body and Soul

It’s that time of year again! Spring cleaning is the annual ritual of cleaning a house from top to bottom in the first warm days of the year—typically in the spring. Historically this was done in the spring as the cold weather was giving way to warmer temperatures, because, it was widely held, houses are more difficult to clean during winter.

The origins of spring cleaning probably date back to the Iranian Norouz, the Persian new year, which falls on the first day of spring. Iranians continue the practice of “khooneh takouni” which literally means “shaking the house” just before the new year. Everything in the house is thoroughly cleaned, from the drapes to the furniture.

Another possible origin of spring cleaning can be traced to the ancient Jewish practice of thoroughly cleansing the home in anticipation of the spring-time holiday of Passover. Observant Jews conduct a thorough cleaning of the house, followed by the traditional Passover festivities.

In Greece and other Orthodox nations, it is tradition to clean the house thoroughly either right before or during the first week of Great Lent, which is referred to as Clean Week.

During this spring-cleaning season, I invite you to join me and check out what’s dusty, out-dated, or has been over-looked within yourself. Let’s take a trip into your inner attic or basement; look around and decide what should be cleaned up, put away or tossed into the trash altogether.

Let’s start by identifying the 8 Major Life Categories that will form the framework of your spring cleaning efforts:  Continue reading

Self-Esteem is Created Consciously with Intention

Self-esteem is a term that many people toss around, and I bet that the vast majority of you don’t really understand what in the world Self esteem really means.

For a moment, I invite you to consider that Self-esteem–esteeming one’s Self–is really code for the conscious knowing that you are at choice every minute!

Self-esteem is your willingness and ability to honor your legitimate needs; to say your real “yes” and your real “no”; to set and maintain your boundaries; and to act on your own behalf.

Self esteem is the willingness and ability to positively impact, affect and influence people and events around you.

You have an inner guidance system that drives you and guides your choice-making whether you are aware of it or not. Your system includes:

  • Vision
  • Life-purpose
  • Mission
  • Needs/Values

Your Self-esteem is deeply informed by the level and the extent of your awareness of your inner guidance system, and your deliberate intention to live consciously and be at choice.

What so many people forget is that lasting happiness, peace of mind, deep and joyful love, abundance, physical and emotional health are created primarily through who you are being rather than what you are doing or having.

You create your life and your love life through your beliefs, intentions, and the actions you take in the world.

Let’s look at each of these separate yet inter-related parts of the four corners of your inner life:

1. Your Vision is your idea of the world you want to live in and be a part of; what you want your life to be.

When you think of your “vision,” think of your personal world of family and friends, your community, work and colleagues…everything in the world that touches you in some way every day and how you want that to be. Continue reading

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com