Re-energize and Celebrate Your Love!

Relationships are like bank accounts. If you keep pulling money out without making deposits you will go bankrupt. What does the balance sheet of your love life look like?

You know, relationships are living breathing entities. Our investment of deliberate intention, and focused time, energy and attention is the order of the day. Your relationship can’t wait until it is convenient for you; or until you have finished everything on your to-do list; or until you are at leisure.

Being a successful Sweetheart and being a successful career person at the same time requires some serious intention, investment and commitment from both partners. Relationships grow and flourish when both people show up and make consistent deposits. One person alone, even if that one person makes huge deposits, cannot build and maintain a joyful, satisfying relationship for both of you.

Do you spend more time each week watching television or commuting to work than you do alone with your beloved? Or are you too busy to even have a beloved?

I think you’d agree that to keep that spark alive, you and your partner must spend quality, eyeball-to-eyeball time together.

Think back to when you first started dating. What did you do? What things did you both enjoy that you no longer make time to do?

Remind yourself, and each other, of all the reasons you fell in love.

Let your creative juices flow! Let your imagination go wild! Anything goes. This is the most important person in your life. Rejoice! Celebrate yourself and each other. Let this post-Valentine’s Day time be your good reason.

And if you haven’t met your special someone yet, the person who matches your values and makes your heart sing—remember, when you are actively engaged in the life that you love you more easily attract the love of your life!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

The REAL Gift For Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day again! Let Valentine’s Day this year be the bell of awareness ringing in your ear, reminding you to carve out the time to connect with the one who stole your heart. Retailers and Madison Avenue would like us to all rush out and buy chocolate; flowers, mushy cards and teddy bears. But consider this instead:

  • If he takes Fido out for his 10:00 pm walk every night, why not offer to do it for him the next four or five nights.
  • If pulling the trash cans out to the street is his job, take the trash cans out for the next couple of weeks and give him a break.
  • Tell her that you are going to grab the kids and take them away on Saturday morning so she can have the house all to herself for several hours and then all meet up for lunch somewhere at noon.

You get the picture. Really focus in on the one you love and come up with the four most loving behaviors you can think of and make a gift of your time and energy.

Don’t miss the sweetness and the joy you will both experience by reaching out and connecting with each other from the center of your being and the bottom of your heart. That’s the real meaning of Valentine’s Day.

Make this Valentine’s Day the most personal Valentine’s Day yet!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

It’s Almost Valentine’s Day—Have a Love Conversation!

Is this a day you are looking forward to? Or dreading?

In my experience, women are more triggered by Valentine’s Day forgetfulness or inattention than men. So, in the spirit of averting a Valentine’s Day disaster in your relationship, this advice is for the ladies!

Are you excited about showing your love and affection; and letting that special man in your life know how much he means to you?

Do you find yourself worrying that your Honey might forget to plan ahead and not send you flowers, buy Godiva Chocolate or that tennis bracelet you’ve been hinting you really want to have?

Check out your expectations about “being remembered” and the meaning you make related to certain behaviors.

For example:

  • He bought me beautiful flowers: He loves me. He is so thoughtful.
  • He gave me a very sweet card: He loves me so much and thinks I am special.
  • He sent me a card from the kids: He is so wonderful and I am so important to him.
  • He didn’t even go to the grocery store and buy flowers: He is so uncaring and unappreciative about everything I do.
  • He didn’t even get me a simple card: He’s so thoughtless and doesn’t appreciate me.

Heads up, ladies!

Valentine’s Day is not the designated day of the year that your partner is tasked with proving to you that he loves you and that you are special and the center of his world.

Valentine’s Day is just like every other day! It is another rich opportunity for emotionally intelligent partners to co-create the celebration that matches their love, commitment and joy of being together.

If you are looking for evidence that you are special or loved, you and your relationship are in trouble!

Emotionally intelligent partners bring their energy, sentimentality, and creativity to the table and together, they plan exactly how to celebrate their love and each other on Valentine’s Day.

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Living Single is Not a Condition to Improve

Many of us find ourselves un-partnered at various times in our lives. How do you experience being single and uninvolved?

Do you worry that you are unloved, or will never find that special someone to love?

Did you feel relief at the end of a marriage or relationship that was contentious or disappointing, one fraught with conflict and dissension?

Each one of us has our own unique experience of being single and living alone. For some men and women, being single is a message that he or she is not good enough, or is flawed in some serious way. People tell me that being single is the evidence that there is something wrong with them.

Sometimes men and women without partners are afraid that friends and family members think they are alone because they are not worth being cared for. Some single people feel self-conscious going into restaurants alone or with friends, especially on weekend nights.

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Secrets to Finding the Treasures Around You

Last week we explored the unique gifts, skills and talents that live inside of us. We made a list to help appreciate and honor the treasures we bring to the lives of others.

What treasures OUTSIDE you are you not recognizing, valuing and letting warm you down to the cockles of your heart?

Who and what is a part of your daily life that you take for granted or don’t notice or get pleasure from anymore? Or maybe haven’t ever!

What thoughts preoccupy you and exhaust you? What treasures outside of you can you become aware of to restore and re-energize yourself?

Who are the folks who are not your champions; who suck the very life and the joy out of you? Who are the treasures outside of you who might enrich and enliven your life?

I live in sunny California and the clear blue sky and the warmth of the sun on my face early in the morning I go for a walk are treasures to me. And I laugh at myself the 20 days a year it dares to be freezing cold (low 60’s) and cloudy and I’m complaining bitterly!

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com