It’s Time to Own the Treasures That Live Within You

When we think of treasures we generally think of expensive jewels, rare antiques or chests filled with gold coins sitting on the bottom of the ocean.

Would you be surprised to learn that there are a multitude of treasures all around you AND inside you?

Let’s explore the treasures INSIDE you first.

Each one of us has unique gifts, skills and talents that live inside of us. You are probably so busy in your life d-o-i-n-g one thing or another and attending to the needs of others, that you haven’t had any time to notice or honor your special gifts, skills and talents in a long time.

Grab a piece of paper and let’s make a list together right now!

If you were your best friend (and you should be, but that’s a topic for another issue) and I asked your best friend what characteristics or personality traits she or he liked, valued or appreciated the most about you, what would she or he say?

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Are New Year’s Resolutions a Set-up for Failure?

How are your New Year’s Resolutions going? Are you successfully achieving your goals? Or have you failed already?

If you are in the minuscule percentage of people who are successfully achieving your goals, congratulations!

For everyone else, don’t give it a second thought if you have already failed and have decided “to heck with that stuff anyway!”

New Year’s Resolutions are a set-up for failure. Changing anything in life when you do so with intention is hard enough, never mind trying to change something based on faulty thinking and faulty planning.

Here’s a simple three-step formula to make any change you wish in your life:

First, decide what behavior you want to change or goal you want to achieve. Carefully craft a statement about one or two benefits that will come as a result of changing this behavior or achieving this goal.

How will your life be enriched or improved if you change this behavior or achieve this goal?

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Invitation to Take Stock and Design Your Life

It’s hard to believe that 2016 is over and 2017 is here.

The beginning of the year is a good time to take stock; to examine where we’ve been; where we are now; and where we want to go this year.

I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on the various aspects of your life.

  • What accomplishment are you very proud of?
  • What goal did you have that wasn’t realized?
  • Did you experience any losses or disappointments? Have you spent time grieving the hurt associated with the loss or disappointment?
  • Anything unexpected happen? Have you expressed your gratitude?
  • Is there a task or an endeavor that is incomplete that you want to complete or bring closure to this year?
  • Do you still need or want to do or say something to someone?
  • Do you have a dream for 2017? And a plan to make it a reality?

This is just a partial list that I want to invite you to use to spark your personal inquiry.

My amazing Grandmother used to say, “A rolling stone gathers no moss.” Loosely translated, that old saying reminds us to stay actively engaged in our lives and to resist becoming complacent.

Be the architect of your life. Don’t wait for something to happen. Design your life and your love life for the rest of your life and be sure your design matches your vision for your life; your values; and your life purpose.

Don’t settle; compromise; or negotiate away that which is your right and your obligation to Be, Do and Have.

I thank you for being in our network. It is a privilege and an honor to serve you. I hope this year will be everything you want it to be and that you will join us for a terrific 2017!

My team joins me in wishing you a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year filled with abundance, joy, and treasured moments!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

 

Stress is Just a Fact of Life—How to Live Life With It

Stress is not pressure from the outside: Challenges at work or at home, money problems… Those are the stressors.

Your response to those situations, those stressors, is what we call stress.

This distinction is important. Stressors are the multitude of daily occurrences that require you to adapt. Stress is your response as you attempt to make the adjustment.

Stress can be positive or negative. Meeting a deadline, preparing to drive on ice, making it through a crisis on raw courage, cramming for an exam, making a terrific impression at a job interview or an audition, walking into a room full of strangers at a party, are all defined as positive stress.

Stress can also be destructive. It can turn into distress. It can gnaw away at you and sap your energy over the months and years.

Violin strings need just enough tension to make beautiful music, but not so much tension that the strings snap. That is the way it is for people and stress. Each of us has a level of stress that is positive and not harmful.

Your body will tell you about your stress. It will send you messages when you are experiencing too much stress:

  • Tight throat
  • Sweaty palms
  • Headache
  • Fatigue
  • Nausea
  • Diarrhea
  • Vague uneasiness

Be aware. Listen to yourself.

Once your personal distress sounds the bell of awareness and lets you know that the stressors in your life need attention, the management decisions are up to you!

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The Joys and Dreads of Giving and Receiving Gifts

What do you think about giving and receiving gifts? Are you an enthusiastic, appreciative receiver or does getting a gift make you feel uncomfortable? Are you a spirited gift giver picking up small (or large) tokens of your esteem and affection wherever you go for the people you care about?

In a small survey I conducted over several months here’s what I discovered:

  • Women tend to be more comfortable than men giving gifts to family and friends not related to a special occasion.
  • Women are more apt than men to give a gift to a friend.
  • Men are willing and eager to buy gifts for loved ones especially for special occasions, though they feel enormously uncertain most of the time that the gift they buy will be valued and appreciated by the receiver.
  • Men have less of a need to receive a personal gift than women, particularly for birthdays and anniversaries.
  • Men are more welcoming and appreciative of a wider range of gifts than women.
  • Women make more meaning of the gifts they receive than men.

Here are a few personal Gift Giving & Receiving Guidelines I’d like to offer for your consideration:  Continue reading

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com