Monthly Archives: May 2009

Your Marriage is Like a Tabletop With Four Sturdy Legs

Coupleship is a way to perceive and structure a long-term, primary monogamous relationship.

Emotionally intelligent couples have certain things in common.  They are committed to mutual and reciprocal respect, encouragement and affirmation; they can easily and elegantly offer and receive an apology; and they speak with each other in feeling vocabulary that keeps them open (undefended) and emotionally available to each other!

Think about Coupleship as a tabletop being supported by very sturdy legs.  The sturdy legs are:

  1. Beliefs and Values of each partner;
  2. Personal Style and Temperament that each partner brings in to the Coupleship.
  3. Commitments each partner makes to the Coupleship and to his or her partner;
  4. Agreements each partner makes to the Coupleship and to his or her partner.

Today let’s explore Personal Beliefs, Values, Style and Temperament.

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The Road to Successful Love is Called INTER-Dependence

Coupleship is a way to perceive and structure a long-term, primary monogamous relationship.

Here are several essential concepts to understand and embrace:

Concept #1:

The basic attitudes of Coupleship are:

  • Mutual and Reciprocal Respect;
  • Mutual and Reciprocal Encouragement;
  • Mutual and Reciprocal Affirmation;
  • Ability to Offer an Apology;
  • Ability to Receive an Apology;
  • Learn and Practice Feeling Vocabulary.

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Avoid Building Your Relationship on Quicksand

Podcast-05_07_09.mp3

We all have a need for a certain amount of stability in our lives. You’ll find that you have four cornerstones that are the foundation on which your life is grounded. These are:

  1. Your needs and values; the external and internal structures of your life;
  2. Your vision; what you want your life to be;
  3. Your life purpose; your reason for being;
  4. Your mission; the daily choices and behaviors that put into action living on purpose with vision driven by needs and values.

These form the basis of your Inner life. Right now, you may not be clear on what some of these are; but they are all there in your subconscious, and help you to make decisions that are right for you.

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Touched by The Heart of A Woman

Mothers have been recognized in special ways for thousands of years, since Ancient Greece.

The month of May is the month that people in many parts of the world specifically celebrate Mothers.

As a tribute to women all across the globe, I am re-printing this wonderful and heart-warming poem written by Bonnie Ross-Parker. Ms. Ross-Parker’s contact information is at the end of this poem if you wish to contact her directly.

"The heart of a woman is as big as life. She initiates conversations with strangers in the bathroom. She recommends the perfect place to find the perfect dress to a woman she meets at the beauty salon. She clips coupons to send to her daughter-in-law. She smiles when she would rather scream, cries when she is happy, and often says "yes" when she means ‘no.’

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com