Monthly Archives: August 2009

Relationships Based on F-E-A-R Never Feel Good and Always End Badly!

Resist creating relationships because it is safe and you are afraid. Acting from fear can never result in the rich, comfortable relationship that is your heart’s desire. 

Avoid making decisions about love relationships based on fear, disillusionment, or a belief that you have to settle. Resist acting on the fear that you aren’t going to find anyone who will cherish you and accept your faults.

Recognize that you can co-create a life-long partnership that will honor, encourage, and nurture your best self.

Recently a teleclass participant told the group that the man she is dating is a wonderful person; takes very good care of her; though there just isn’t the romantic chemistry that she wants to feel. Another teleclass participant complained of missing feeling the attraction that he has felt with other women, yet, his current lady really loves him and treats him better than anyone ever treated him before.

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Does Your FICO Score Determine Your Dating Status?

Ask Dr. Jackie:

When is the right time, or when you are obligated, to tell a new boyfriend/girlfriend that you are carrying lots of credit card debt?

Dr. Jackie Advises:

Your financial affairs are none of anyone’s business unless and until you become certain that this boyfriend or girlfriend is a person with whom you are seriously contemplating becoming a committed couple.

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5 Areas of Readiness for Successful Committed Relationships

Your life will not be “better” if you are in a relationship.  We take ourselves with us wherever we go…especially into love relationships.

A successful, committed relationship depends upon being ready:

  1. Physically
  2. Emotionally
  3. Financially
  4. Legally
  5. Spiritually

…for the life and relationship that you want.  Get your personal work done first!

Are you ready *Physically*?

  • Are you actively engaged in a physical fitness program? 
  • Are you committed to eating health-promoting foods? 
  • Do you do your best most of the time to avoid overeating, or eating too much sugar and fat?
  • Do you take care of your gums and teeth and make sure your breath is sweet?
  • Is your personal hygiene the very best it can be?  If not, are you making the necessary changes?

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Tips to Get Your Spouse Back into the Workforce

In these uncertain economic times, more and more husbands and wives find themselves having the, "Should I return to work?" or, "Should you return to work?" conversation.

Serious times call for serious choices and decisions. While many couples are willing to make the tough choice to get back into the workforce, they have no idea where to start.  And most will start the process filled with fear, resentment and desperation.

You can make this a more rewarding process for your spouse by understanding four important realities: the decision to return to work is unexpected and perhaps unwelcome; might trigger some feelings of guilt or failure; might trigger some feelings of anger or resentment and can feel like a significant loss; grieving and sadness are normal and natural reactions.

When your marriage is built on the cornerstones of mutual respect, mutuality and reciprocity, it matters to you that your spouse is experiencing something that is hard, sad or perhaps frightening.

Here are three tips to help you consider the important aspects and elements related to getting back into the workforce.  The tips are written for your spouse as if she or he were doing this work right now.

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com