Monthly Archives: November 2009

Dating After 50—What are Your Needs?

When we are dating to meet a partner and build a life together it is essential to know what YOUR needs and values are; and what your partner’s needs and values are.

Most of our needs and values are acquired as we grow up and reflect those of the people closest to us during that period. At some later time in life, mature, emotionally intelligent men and women start unwrapping the beliefs, attitudes and values that were held by their families and passed on to them as if they were the ultimate truth!

When you form a relationship, the compatibility of your needs and values will contribute to the strength of that relationship. So taking the time to sort out what your needs and values are from those passed down to you is essential work to do before you jump head first into that daunting process we call dating or wonder where to go to meet Mr. I hope you are the right one this time!

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Secrets to Finding the Treasures Around You

Last week we explored the unique gifts, skills and talents that live inside of us. We made a list to help appreciate and honor the treasures we bring to the lives of others.

What treasures OUTSIDE you are you not recognizing, valuing and letting warm you down to the cockles of your heart?

Who and what is a part of your daily life that you take for granted or don’t notice or get pleasure from anymore?  Or maybe haven’t ever!

What thoughts preoccupy you and exhaust you?  What treasures outside of you can you become aware of to restore and reenergize yourself?

Who are the folks who are not your champions; who suck the very life and the joy out of you? Who are the treasures outside of you who might enrich and enliven your life?

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It’s Time to Own the Treasures That Live Within You

When we think of treasures we generally think of expensive jewels, rare antiques or chests filled with gold coins sitting on the bottom of the ocean.

Would you be surprised to learn that there are a multitude of treasures all around you AND inside you?

Let’s explore the treasures INSIDE you first.

Each one of us has unique gifts, skills and talents that live inside of us.  You are probably so busy in your life d-o-i-n-g one thing or another and attending to the needs of others, that you haven’t had any time to notice or honor your special gifts, skills and talents in a long time.

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Stop Fooling Around! Start Making Contributions to Your Life That Matter

The idea of creating a life purpose statement isn’t new.  People throughout recorded history have created statements of belief, intention, personal creeds and other similar statements.  Only when we connect with our unique purpose and live through the values that support our purpose can we experience deep and profound personal satisfaction.

The benefit of developing and writing down your life purpose statement is to inspire you.  Your life purpose statement is the expression of what you want to be and what you want to do in your life; your unique capacity to contribute in the mental, spiritual, physical and social areas of your life.

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Take Charge of Your Life or Stop Complaining!

“Taking charge” is code for the conscious knowing that we are at choice every minute!  “Taking charge” is actually our willingness and ability to honor our legitimate needs; to say our real “yes” and our real “no”; to set and maintain our boundaries; and to act on our own behalf.  We create our life and our love life through our beliefs, intentions, and the actions we take in the world.

Every one of us has an inner guidance system that drives us and guides our choice-making whether we are aware of it or not. Our system includes:

  • Vision
  • Life-purpose
  • Mission
  • Needs/Values

Our life is most fulfilling and satisfying when we are in alignment with our vision and life-purpose; driven by values; on a mission. When we live from our being, we live a life in alignment with our vision, life purpose, needs/values.

What so many people forget is that lasting happiness, peace of mind, deep and joyful love, abundance, physical and emotional health are created primarily through who you are being rather than what you are doing or having.

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com