Monthly Archives: January 2011

A Few Thoughts about the Value of Communicating Well

Why is communication important in a relationship? Is it the most important part of a relationship?

First let’s agree that when we use the word communication we are referring to verbal and non-verbal communication.

Verbal and non-verbal language is an essential element for committed relationships, friendships, business relationship and virtually all other kinds of relationships. We depend on making ourselves understood to convey our wants and needs, likes and dislikes, thoughts and feelings, and to make requests of others.

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Settling, Compromising & Negotiating: What are the Differences?

Too often we think we have successfully compromised or negotiated an issue with a loved one when, in fact, we have actually given up, given in or settled.  Where do these actions come from, and how do you recognize them?

Giving Up and Giving In

Giving up and giving in are completely unacceptable ways of resolving issues, handling disagreements or solving problems. Giving up and giving in are signs that you feel powerless and undeserving. Anger and resentment are sure to follow. Nothing good ever comes from giving up or giving in!

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Commitment: Relationship Accountability & Agreements

To continue our discussion about the importance of commitments made by partners in a relationship, this week we will explore the essential steps needed to create the foundation on which to build a loving and strong committed relationship.

What is Accountability?

Being held accountable means we accept responsibility for the results of our choices, decisions and behaviors instead of blaming others or external factors. Individuals who believe they are in charge of the quality and direction of their lives, rather than victims of circumstance, are empowered to move forward. They focus on solutions, not problems, and they move forward towards the goals and commitments of their shared vision and purpose, both as individuals and as a couple.

Successful Commitments and Agreements

Couples who have clarified their own personal values, and individual and couple visions and purpose have a stronger foundation from which to commit to their agreements and achieve more consistent and satisfying results. Their overall effectiveness in making and honoring agreements is greatly increased. Success is an almost certainty when both partners keep their agreements and most certainly can be at risk if one person doesn’t keep his or her agreements.

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Commitment: What Are You Committing and To Whom?

Do you make commitments? If so, to whom do you make commitments? What do you make commitments about? What does making a commitment mean to you?

Do you honor the commitments you make? Do you expect others to honor their commitments?  Absolutely? Mostly? Nearly always?

I have recently been rudely awakened to the unfortunate reality that commitments made by partners in committed relationships may not mean what they used to. I am outraged and alarmed to say the least!

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Are New Year’s Resolutions a Set-up for Failure?

How are your New Year’s Resolutions going? Are you successfully achieving your goals? Or have you failed already?

If you are in the miniscule percentage of people who are successfully achieving your goals, congratulations!

For everyone else, don’t give it a second thought if you have already failed and have decided “to heck with that stuff anyway!”

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com