Monthly Archives: May 2011

What to Say to Someone Who is Grieving

What do you say to someone whose life comes crashing down around him or her; whose life, as they knew it, is forever and profoundly changed?

The first thing to really recognize is that when someone experiences the death of a loved one, the loss is so pervasive, the pain so excruciating, that there are no words that will be particularly helpful or meaningful to hear.

You see, grieving is a wholly feeling experience. The intellectual recognition that someone has died is present inside us immediately, and is very different from the emotional recognition that someone has died; really getting that you will never see his face again; never hear her voice again; never be able to throw your arms around each other and share a bear hug.

The emotional recognition is a normal, natural and necessary process we call grieving. Continue reading

Dating Game Plan—17 Experts Respond

Relationship-minded Singles—”What are the most important questions to ask yourself before going into the dating world?” Dr. Jackie plus 16 other experts share their ideas with you at Each relationship expert answered this question to give you a game plan before you step into the dating world.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

The New Crisis of Infidelity

I receive many letters and emails each month and more and more the letters and emails are from married men and women (and men and women in committed partnerships) who are becoming involved in office romances.

Here’s a recent example:

Dear Dr. Jackie:

I have been married for 12 years. I have fallen deeply in love with a co-worker (though she says she only wants to be friends). Though we don’t have sex, we spend a lot of time together and we have become very close. I cannot see enough of her. She is funny, intelligent, sexy, and I love being with her. For a while I pretended that everything was okay in my marriage. Then I told my wife I was feeling confused, trapped, and needed some time to work some things out. I know she is devastated by the sudden change in me. I offered to move out and she said no. I feel badly about all of this. On one hand I am loved by someone who would welcome me back in a second. On the other, I am totally consumed by someone else. This is not like me. What should I do?

Continue reading

Spring Cleaning of Your Mind, Body and Soul

It’s that time of year again!  Spring cleaning is the annual ritual of cleaning a house from top to bottom in the first warm days of the year – typically in the spring.  Historically this was done in the spring as the cold weather was giving way to warmer temperatures, because, it was widely held, houses are more difficult to clean during winter.

The origins of spring cleaning probably date back to the Iranian Norouz, the Persian new year, which falls on the first day of spring.  Iranians continue the practice of “khooneh takouni” which literally means “shaking the house” just before the new year. Everything in the house is thoroughly cleaned, from the drapes to the furniture.

Another possible origin of spring cleaning can be traced to the ancient Jewish practice of thoroughly cleansing the home in anticipation of the spring-time holiday of Passover. Observant Jews conduct a thorough cleaning of the house, followed by the traditional Passover festivities.

In Greece and other Orthodox nations, it is tradition to clean the house thoroughly either right before or during the first week of Great Lent, which is referred to as Clean Week.

During this spring cleaning season, I invite you to join me and check out what’s dusty, out-dated, or has been over-looked within yourself. Let’s take a trip into your inner attic or basement; look around and decide what should be cleaned up, put away or tossed into the trash altogether.

Continue reading

*More Than Gossip*–Free Teleseminar

Join 4 top Life, Love and Relationship Experts for a Lively Chat – And YOU Can Join Us Live!

Join top Life, Love and Relationship Experts Dr. Jackie Black, Dr. Dar (Darshana Hawks), Lori Rubenstein and Christine Laureano for a lively, live chat about the “fairytale” expectations and assumptions about love and relationships that contemporary women still hold and that men are royally turned off by.

It is no accident that 3 billion people around the world watched the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Seriously? What is that all about?

Continue reading

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at