Monthly Archives: September 2011

All About Being Congruent

Good communication is telling your personal truth about YOU to others, and being congruent within yourself.

Being congruent within yourself means:

  • Valuing yourself
  • Taking ownership of your thoughts and feelings; and your resources and choices
  • Honoring and expressing your deepest knowing about yourself
  • Being sure that what you say and how you say it match what you are feeling

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Living from the Heart

Many people mistakenly believe that when thoughts and actions come from our hearts it means that we are somehow weak; or vulnerable to being taken advantage of; or that we lack conviction or “backbone.” Nothing could be further from the truth!

Intentional Thoughts and Behaviors From Your Heart

When I think about “From the Heart” these words come to mind:

  1. Compassion
  2. Empathy
  3. Forgiveness
  4. Humility
  5. Patience
  6. Tenderness
  7. Hope
  8. Gratitude, appreciation, or thankfulness

Let’s consider these eight behaviors related to our intentional thoughts and actions.

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Building a Healthy Relationship that Will Last

One of the most frequently asked questions I hear is, “How do I choose the right mate and build a healthy, loving and lasting relationship?”

Most of us find ourselves without personal experience or good models of healthy relationships and we feel inadequate or unsure about how to build a healthy, lasting committed relationship.

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The End of a Relationship Can Be a Terrible Loss

Breaking up, getting divorced and the death of your partner are among the biggest loss events in life.

There are three important things to remember:

  1. Grief is the reaction to a loss event
  2. Grieving is the normal, natural, and necessary process that restores us to wholeness
  3. Grieving is a wholly feeling experience

Grieving is as unique as your fingerprints.  No two people will react to the same loss event in the same way and no two people will grieve the same way.

The cognitive or thinking part of self is not the grieving part of self.  Think of your personal energy as being 100%.  In a perfect world, 50% of your personal energy is your outside self and 50% of your personal energy is your inside self.

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com