Monthly Archives: May 2012

Dating After 50—Be Sure About Where Your Vision Is Taking You

The last two weeks, we started exploring the four cornerstones of your inner guidance system:

  1. Needs and values; the external and internal structures of your life
  2. Vision; what you want your life to be
  3. Life purpose; your reason for being
  4. Mission; the daily choices and behaviors that put into action living on purpose with vision driven by needs and values

Why is this important in a series that focuses on Love and Relationships After 50?

  • Because you want to be certain that you are engaging in your life and in the dating process with integrity and with accurate information and full awareness about yourself.
  • Because a love relationship is most fulfilling and satisfying when it is in alignment with your needs/values, vision, life purpose and mission.
  • Because when you live from your very being, you can genuinely love and be loved by another; you can know a love that grows out of choice.

We have explored Needs and Values. This week we are going to take a look at the Vision piece of your inner guidance system.

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Dating After 50—STOP Compromising Your Values

Last week we established that we all have needs, and our needs are legitimate. You have learned that you can meet some of your needs yourself; however, you cannot necessarily meet all of them. Some of your needs can, and must, be met by others.

What about values?

Have you ever done something you didn’t want to do, just because someone else that you cared about wanted you to?

Think about what happened and how it made you feel afterward. What thoughts did you have? Do you remember having any body sensations? Maybe you felt a pain in your gut, your neck hurt or you felt plain sad?

It’s surprising how someone that you care about can influence you to do things that “go against the grain.” Initially, you may do things to make that person happy, because you care, but if you find yourself taking actions that are opposed to your values, you will eventually begin to resent this. I’m sure you can imagine what effect this will have on your relationship.

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Dating After 50—What are Your Needs?

When we are dating to meet a partner and build a life together it is essential to know what YOUR needs and values are; and what your partner’s needs and values are.

Most of our needs and values are acquired as we grow up and reflect those of the people closest to us during that period. At some later time in life, mature, emotionally intelligent men and women start unwrapping the beliefs, attitudes and values that were held by their families and passed on to them as if they were the ultimate truth!

When you form a relationship, the compatibility of your needs and values will contribute to the strength of that relationship. So taking the time to sort out what your needs and values are from those passed down to you is essential work to do before you jump head first into that daunting process we call dating or wonder where to go to meet Mr. I hope you are the right one this time!

So let’s be clear: We all have needs, and our needs are legitimate. The problem, though, is that many of us may confuse the concept of neediness, something very different, with having real and legitimate needs that can be reasonably met!

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Touched by The Heart of A Woman

Mothers have been recognized in special ways for thousands of years, since Ancient Greece.

The month of May is the month that people in many parts of the world specifically celebrate Mothers.

As a tribute to women all across the globe, I am re-printing this wonderful and heart-warming poem written by Bonnie Ross-Parker. Ms. Ross-Parker’s contact information is at the end of this poem if you wish to contact her directly.

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

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