Monthly Archives: June 2012

It’s Time to Stop Focusing on Other People

Rituals and celebrations are ways to intentionally create meaningful connections with special and important events and people.  Many of us already celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and various holidays including rituals we may not even recognize as such.

I invite you to stretch beyond your comfort zone and experiment with the idea of ritual by starting with a ritual blessing yourself!

Here is an example of a ritual celebrating YOU! Dr. Barbara Ardinger created this Self-Blessing ritual. You can find the complete version of this ritual in her book A Woman’s Book of Rituals & Celebrations.

The Instructions:

Spend a few minutes gathering twelve things or representations of things (photographs or symbols) that you believe make an accurate picture of you. These things can include your daily organizer, car keys, a favorite object from your grandmother or a book you bought yesterday.

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You’ve Got One Shot at Love

What if you have one shot at creating the best relationship ever…

The fact of the matter is that everyone would be much better off if we actually believed that we only had one shot to build the relationship of our dreams.

Too many smart, articulate and successful adults around the world go into relationships without deliberate intention, and with the belief that if it doesn’t work they can break up or get divorced.

That one concept is poison to the entire relationship-building process!

  • Decide that divorce is NOT an option.
  • Figure out who you are in the deepest recesses of your being.
  • Get a solid handle on who your ideal partner is:  What are the personal qualities, values and beliefs that would be a fabulous match for you?
  • Stop acting from fear.
  • Stop settling for Mr. Good Enough!

Think of the relationship itself this way:  When you and your partner join the many facets of your lives together, you create a third energy, the relationship.  The relationship lives and breathes as its own entity; an entity that you are entrusted to guard and protect, nurture and care for.

Making and keeping agreements and commitments is one of the ways couples make that happen.  It is vital that partners know in the deepest part of their being that they can count on the promises and assurances offered by their beloved.

In a long-term, primary, monogamous love relationship make agreements and commitments to each other AND to the relationship.

What ever you believe is true, is!  Be deliberate. Be intentional. Believe you can have what you want!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~
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War Inside Can’t Create Peace Outside

What does it mean to be nurturing?  Who is nurturing?  Who is not and why not?

The very concepts of nurturing and peace (inner peace; peaceful; peacefulness) mean very different things to different people and to people in different settings.

The belief in Western civilization that the human beings are selfish individuals who are chiefly governed by self-interest is not universally true. It is not the case in many societies living outside Western civilization.

This belief reflects the nature of individuals when they must adapt to living in the cultures of Western civilization, rather than the way individuals evolved to adapt to living in the natural world. Indeed, in the natural world in which we evolved, we could not have survived as rugged individuals alienated from each other. Our success as a species rested on our ability to collaborate and share.

While the main purpose of a five-week trip to South Africa was business-related, my experiences were deeply personal and profoundly informing and enriching.

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Oh no! Not the Big Wedding ~ Unless You Get Basic Marriage Education First

Wedding season is now in full swing!

Newlyweds throughout the world spend more time, energy and money on their weddings than on building their relationships and divorce-proofing their marriages!

According to the Journal of Family Psychology, premarital education is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction, lower levels of destructive conflicts and higher levels of interpersonal commitment to spouses.

The results of a survey in four states in the U.S., strongly suggests that couples who received premarital education had a 31% lower chance of divorce.

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

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