Monthly Archives: August 2012

What Do You Mean You Need Space?

Has anyone ever told you she or he needed “some space”?

All too often men and women are threatened by their partners needing or wanting “space”—an opportunity to enjoy solitude.

They somehow feel that if their partners really loved them they wouldn’t want to be apart from them. Or they take it personally and project that they have done or said something that has offended their partner and she or he now wants to get away.

Continue reading

Does Fantasizing Betray Marriage Trust?

Ask Dr. Jackie:

I am happily married with 2 children—or so I thought. Recently, an old flame found me on Facebook and we have been reminiscing about the old days when we were lovers. He is also married with a child, and although we both know that we will never be together—I will not break up my home to be with him—I can’t help but always think of him and fantasize about him. I feel like I can’t control my impulses and want him so badly. Should I confess this to my husband and roll with the punches or should I keep this little secret to myself?

Dr. Jackie Answers:

Break off all contact with this man immediately!  You are playing with fire! You are putting your marriage at risk and you are seriously out of personal integrity!

Affairs of the heart are very dangerous to the people engaged in these kinds of extramarital relationships and extremely damaging to the partners of these folks when they find out or figure it out…and they a‑l‑w‑a‑y‑s do!

Continue reading

It’s Not Okay to be Rude on the Net

Internet dating is popular among singles of all ages throughout the world.

There is a disturbing attitude among some Internet daters that courtesy, integrity and honor don’t apply on “the net.” I want to weigh in on this offensive attitude.

Integrity is not a choice. We don’t employ integrity and courtesy if and when they are convenient or we happen to remember. Integrity lives inside us and is part of every action, reaction, interaction, choice and decision. We treat everyone with whom we interact with courtesy because we hold a value for treating others with basic kindness and respect and our value drives our behavior. We must not throw caution to the wind when it comes to honoring our values and our behavior.

Continue reading

Does Too Much Sex Drive You Apart?

Below is a scenario that was presented during a call-in question and answer period of a recent radio interview. I’m sure this isn’t the only couple with this question; so I thought I would share my answer in an article.

Ask Dr. Jackie:

My wife and I have been married for 6 years. In the beginning, we would have sex once a day, and now we have sex about 3 or 4 times a week. While I am happy with this situation, my wife is constantly coming on to me, begging me to sleep with her all the time. I feel like I just can’t keep up. I’m stressed about work and the bills, and all she wants is sex. I love her, and the sex is great; but there’s more to life than just sex.

Are we doomed to have a life of sexual difference? Is there some kind of median we can reach here? I don’t want her to cheat on me, but I just can’t give her sex every single day anymore. I deeply appreciate any advice you can provide to help us resolve this situation.

Continue reading

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at