Monthly Archives: March 2013

How Do You Set Boundaries?

Let me say first, setting boundaries is not disrespectful, bad or wrong. In fact, emotionally healthy people set personal boundaries.

Educate people in your life about your boundaries. Calmly and respectfully inform them about how they can and cannot behave around you. Let people know what you want and don’t want, what you like and don’t like.

Let people know what your limits are. This actually gives people in your life the security of knowing your relationship guidelines and eliminates their fears about how they should behave with you.

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Why Are Boundaries Important?

If your life is filled with discord and you don’t feel that others respect you, it’s time to set your boundaries.

Each of us experiences our reality in four ways:

  1. Body – what we look like
  2. Thinking – how we give meaning to incoming data
  3. Feelings – our emotional response
  4. Behavior – what we do or don’t do

Intact boundaries give measured protection to your body, thinking, feelings and behaviors as you evaluate and assess the words and actions of other people in your life.

You filter your experiences through your cognitive mind and your feelings. Through the use of your boundaries you determine which words and actions you will accept and which you will block when they are unacceptable.

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What Are Boundaries and How Do they Work?

If your life is filled with more of what you don’t want and not enough of what you do want, it’s time to set your boundaries.

Boundaries define a person’s sense of self (i.e., who he or she is as an individual). Setting boundaries makes others feel safe around you and allows you to feel safe in your environment. It is a way to exhibit self-respect, thereby increasing the respect shown to you by others.

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How to Receive an Apology

For most of us, it is equally difficult and uncomfortable to receive an apology as to offer an apology!  Offering and receiving apologies is an art and requires learning a few simple skills and practicing those skills often.

Here Are 8 Easy Steps to Receiving an Apology:

1.       Take a deep breath.

2.       Remind yourself that the person who hurt you is not the enemy.

3.       Remind yourself that the person who hurt you is a person you cherish and value and you know she or he wouldn’t hurt you for anything in the world.

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

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