Monthly Archives: June 2013

Effective Contact Etiquette

Have you ever met someone and wanted to see him again?  Or talk to her again?  When you first meet someone and are interested in connecting with her again, how and where do you try to contact her?  How and where would you like him to contact you?

Contact information etiquette is essential if you date once in a while or are actively dating to find your ideal mate.

Consider these things:

  • Do you want someone you just met to have your home phone number?  Office phone number?  Cell phone number?
  • Do you have an alternate voice mail number you give out to men or women you meet and start dating?
  • Is it okay with you to receive calls at all hours of the day and night?
  • Is it okay with you to receive e-mails at your place of business?
  • Do you have an alternate mailbox or e-mail address for personal/social contacts?
  • Do you have any concerns inviting someone you just met into your home?  Home neighborhood?  Office?  Office neighborhood?
  • Are you welcoming of someone you just met or are getting to know dropping in on you at home?  In the office?  Calling you anytime the mood strikes?

Think about these things carefully.  Talk to your friends and family members about the whole area of contact information etiquette.  Are there any behaviors that you want to add to my list for yourself?

Decide what is comfortable or preferable for you.  Set the boundaries that match for you and honor your beliefs and values.  Don’t worry about how the other person is going to view this.  You are the important person in your picture.  There are no right or wrong choices. There are just your choices that affirm and honor you!

I am going to offer one word of caution. When setting up the first 5 to 8 meetings, make every conceivable effort to avoid inviting strangers into your home, home neighborhood and into your office. 

And yes, men and women you meet and start dating are strangers!  Please be clear about this. It doesn’t matter who you think they are or who you want them to be.  Until you have personal experience with people over time, they are strangers.

Invite them for coffee or lunch or a stroll through an art gallery or museum.  Meet them in the coffee house, restaurant or art gallery.  Invite a friend to join you and this “new” special person.  Park your car down the street, not in the restaurant parking lot.  Say goodbye in front of the art gallery.  This used to be good advice for women.  Today, it is just plain good advice!

Be savvy and be safe.  Help people understand what you expect and how to treat you.  Take a deep breath, connect to what you know and go for it!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~
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Oh no! Not the Big Wedding ~ Unless You Get Basic Marriage Education First

Wedding season is now in full swing!

Newlyweds throughout the world spend more time, energy and money on their weddings than on building their relationships and divorce-proofing their marriages!

According to the Journal of Family Psychology, premarital education is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction, lower levels of destructive conflicts and higher levels of interpersonal commitment to spouses.

The results of a survey in four states in the U.S., strongly suggests that couples who received premarital education had a 31% lower chance of divorce.

What does it take to build a healthy, committed, joyful and lasting relationship?

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All’s Fair in Love and Finances

Mature men and women who are dating have many questions about money and issues related to money management.

The most frequent question I am asked by men is how to avoid always picking up the tab. Women are curious about how to engage men in conversations about money.  What questions are OK to ask?  When do you start asking direct questions about money?

Everybody wants to be sure they are financially compatible before they commit to a long-term partnership, but very few are comfortable talking about the issues.  There are a few simple things you can do to avoid always picking up the tab.

First determine the occasions that you can imagine choosing to “pick up the tab”:  You invite a friend to dinner to celebrate her birthday; You take a friend or family member to lunch as a way to say thank you for checking on your house when you were away.

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Growing Pains

Do you have specific ideas about the man or woman of your dream: body type, personality qualities, things you want to have in common?

Are you someone who dates a man or a woman for six months or so, then gets bored and ends the relationship? Or do you get into relationships you don’t really mean to get into, become bothered and annoyed by personality quirks that didn’t bother you in the beginning, and then wind up leaving after two or three years?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you are very definitely not alone.

Your idea of “Mr./Ms. You Could Be Good Enough” deserves your full attention.

All too often there are many stark differences between the ideals you hold in your thoughts or fantasies, and the actual men and women you date or have married.

Take some time and examine your ideas about your ideal mate. Give strong consideration to the values, style, and temperament that would best suit you.

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

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