Monthly Archives: April 2014

Are You a Couple in Trouble?

Do you know how to save your relationship by:

  1. Creating Intimacy with Deliberate Choices and Actions?
  2. Making Time to Connect?
  3. Creating Romance and Time for Sex?

Answers to these questions, and more, can be found in the debut of my Gift Guide to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage so Love blooms this Spring.

Couples in Trouble can get out of trouble fast with my new eGuide “3 Fast + Fun Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage Today,” plus “The 6-Point Plan to Create Romance and Intimacy.”


Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB) April 29, 2014

Staying happy in a relationship and loving for years and years can be tricky at best. Men and women get sucked into the logistical ruts they know as their lives as husbands, wives, life partners, and taxi services to kids.

That’s why Couples in Trouble Relationship Expert Dr. Jackie Black debuts her “3 Fast and Fun Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage Today Guide” as a free download.

“This is a much better path to happiness and a far less costly approach than the ‘conscious uncoupling’ making headlines by celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin,” Dr. Jackie says. “Let’s face it. The path to love’s bloom can take a sharp detour from happily ever after to dread because of bills, dirty laundry, and competing needs and priorities.”  Read More…


Head over to today for a free download of my new gift Guide offering “3 Fast + Fun Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage” plus “The 6-Point Plan to Create Romance and Intimacy.”

Please feel free to share this with friends and family who need a little “Spark” in their marriage. I would love to hear your comments and opinions; so either post a comment or, on a personal level, contact me at

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Build Your Relationship on a Sturdy Foundation

We all have a need for a certain amount of stability in our lives.  You’ll find that you have four cornerstones that are the foundation on which your life is grounded.  These are:

  1. Your needs and values—the external and internal structures of your life
  2. Your vision—what you want your life to be
  3. Your life purpose—your reason for being
  4. Your mission—the daily choices and behaviors that put into action living on purpose with vision driven by needs and values

These form the basis of your Inner life.  Right now, you may not be clear on what some of these are; but they are all there in your subconscious, and help you to make decisions that are right for you.

In my worldview, it is essential to work on these four, so you can be certain you are engaging in your life and your love life with integrity and accurate information and with full awareness about yourself.

Let me explain.  You create your life and your love life through your beliefs, intentions and the actions you take in the world.  Every one of us has an Inner Guidance System that drives us and guides us in making choices, whether we are aware of it or not.

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Love Letters Every Day for 40 Years

I am always on the look out for relevant and meaningful material to share with you. I recently came across this video, and while I was watching the video and listening to Joe talk about writing love letters to his wife since they went to a marriage weekend retreat in 1974, I knew this was perfect for YOU!

Here is the article from a Seattle newspaper and the video. Enjoy.


BELLEVUE, Wash. — In 1974, Joe and Helen Hesketh’s rocky marriage was saved because of a weekend marriage retreat. The special skill they learned that weekend has been used every day since.

The 81-year-old Seattle couple has been writing love letters to each other every day for 40 years.

For those of you doing the math in your head, that’s more than 29,000 letters between the two of them.

“(The letters) are one page in a notebook and always start with a prayer of some sort,” Joe said. “Then I look to tell Helen something special I noticed about her today and she does the same.”

The first letters were written Feb. 22-24,1974 at a marriage retreat.

“When we write, he can’t interrupt me,” Helen said. “When it’s written you can’t erase it. How I’m feeling and everything I’m thinking about, it’s right there.”

The couple will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary in June.

“Marriage is a lifelong process,” Joe said. “We’re still working on it.”

© 2014 Cox Media Group. Reprinted with permission.



Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~
Scan the QR Code and download your Free MYMARRIAGECOACH App

Spring Cleaning of Your Mind, Body and Soul

It’s that time of year again!  Spring cleaning is the annual ritual of cleaning a house from top to bottom in the first warm days of the year—typically in the spring.  Historically this was done in the spring as the cold weather was giving way to warmer temperatures, because, it was widely held, houses are more difficult to clean during winter.

The origins of spring cleaning probably date back to the Iranian Norouz, the Persian new year, which falls on the first day of spring.  Iranians continue the practice of “khooneh takouni” which literally means “shaking the house” just before the new year. Everything in the house is thoroughly cleaned, from the drapes to the furniture.

Another possible origin of spring cleaning can be traced to the ancient Jewish practice of thoroughly cleansing the home in anticipation of the spring-time holiday of Passover. Observant Jews conduct a thorough cleaning of the house, followed by the traditional Passover festivities.

In Greece and other Orthodox nations, it is tradition to clean the house thoroughly either right before or during the first week of Great Lent, which is referred to as Clean Week.

During this spring-cleaning season, I invite you to join me and check out what’s dusty, out-dated, or has been over-looked within yourself. Let’s take a trip into your inner attic or basement; look around and decide what should be cleaned up, put away or tossed into the trash altogether.

Let’s start by identifying the 8 Major Life Categories that will form the framework of your spring cleaning efforts:

  1. Body (health, exercise, nutrition, avoiding the “isms”)
  2. Mind (intuition, inspiration, creativity, feelings, assumptions…)
  3. Spirit (perhaps our relationship to God; a Higher Power; gratitude or LOA)
  4. Family and Friends
  5. Vision and Life Purpose (passion, hopes and dreams)
  6. Work/Career
  7. Money
  8. Leisure Time

Now let’s identify the 5 Essential Elements that are the basis of your personal operating system:

  1. Values
  2. Thoughts
  3. Attitudes
  4. Beliefs
  5. Behaviors/Choices/Decisions

In the same way you go through your closet at the start of each season, carefully examining each garment and accessory one by one, let’s take some time and examine the threads in the fabric of your life.

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Stress is Just a Fact of Life—How to Live Life With It

Stress is not pressure from the outside:  Challenges at work or at home, money problems… Those are the stressors.

Your response to those situations, those stressors, is what we call stress.

This distinction is important. Stressors are the multitude of daily occurrences that require you to adapt. Stress is your response as you attempt to make the adjustment.

Stress can be positive or negative. Meeting a deadline, preparing to drive on ice, making it through a crisis on raw courage, cramming for an exam, making a terrific impression at a job interview or an audition, walking into a room full of strangers at a party, are all defined as positive stress.

Stress can also be destructive. It can turn into distress. It can gnaw away at you and sap your energy over the months and years.

Violin strings need just enough tension to make beautiful music, but not so much tension that the strings snap. That is the way it is for people and stress. Each of us has a level of stress that is positive and not harmful.

Your body will tell you about your stress. It will send you messages when you are experiencing too much stress:

  • Tight throat
  • Sweaty palms
  • Head ache
  • Fatigue
  • Nausea
  • Diarrhea
  • Vague uneasiness

Be aware. Listen to yourself.

Once your personal distress sounds the bell of awareness and lets you know that the stressors in your life need attention, the management decisions are up to you!

Stress management doesn’t mean getting rid of all stress. It means making thoughtful choices about your life.

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Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at