Monthly Archives: September 2014

Stop Fooling Around! Start Making Contributions to Your Life That Matter

The idea of creating a life purpose statement isn’t new. People throughout recorded history have created statements of belief, intention, personal creeds and other similar statements. Only when we connect with our unique purpose and live through the values that support our purpose can we experience deep and profound personal satisfaction.

The benefit of developing and writing down your life purpose statement is to inspire you. Your life purpose statement is the expression of what you want to be and what you want to do in your life; your unique capacity to contribute in the mental, spiritual, physical and social areas of your life.

Ask yourself these questions. Listen with your ears, heart, mind and your whole body to the answers:

  • Why are you here?
  • What are you meant to do?
  • What do you deeply enjoy doing?
  • What have been your happiest moments in life?
  • Why were they happy?
  • Where would you like to spend most of your time?
  • What is innate and inherent to you?
  • If you had unlimited time and resources and you could do anything without restrictions, what would it be?
  • Do you have a dream or a deep desire that you keep putting on the back burner? What talents do you have that others don’t know about?
  • What can you do best that would be of worth to others?
  • Who are you to other people?
  • What would two or three people in your life say about you?
  • What purpose do they see you fulfilling in their lives?
  • What is it that so many people rely on you for?
  • Who have you been for people?

Just sit quietly for a few minutes letting these images flow in and out of your mind, observing any sensations you may be feeling in your body, sounds you may be hearing or thoughts you may be thinking.

As soon as you can, spend some time writing down the answers to these questions. Answer each question in at least several sentences. Then go back and underline the key words from each sentence and put all of the underlined words on a separate page.

Are there any themes or associations you can make? Are there natural categories that emerged?

Now you’re ready to build your “life purpose statement” from these words and phrases!

When we live from our being we live a life in alignment with our vision, values and life purpose. When we live from our being we can genuinely live our best life and love life; and be loved by another.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~
Scan the QR Code and download your Free MYMARRIAGECOACH App

Take Charge of Your Life or Stop Complaining!

“Taking charge” is code for the conscious knowing that we are at choice every minute! “Taking charge” is actually our willingness and ability to honor our legitimate needs; to say our real “yes” and our real “no”; to set and maintain our boundaries; and to act on our own behalf. We create our life and our love life through our beliefs, intentions, and the actions we take in the world.

Every one of us has an inner guidance system that drives us and guides our choice making whether we are aware of it or not. Our system includes:

  • Vision
  • Life-purpose
  • Mission
  • Needs/Values

Our life is most fulfilling and satisfying when we are in alignment with our vision and life-purpose; driven by values; on a mission. When we live from our being, we live a life in alignment with our vision, life purpose, needs/values.

What so many people forget is that lasting happiness, peace of mind, deep and joyful love, abundance, physical and emotional health are created primarily through who you are being rather than what you are doing or having.

Let’s look at each of these separate yet inter-related parts of the four corners of our inner life:

1. Our Vision statement is our one or two sentence concept of the world we want to live in and be a part of; what we want our life to be.

When you think of your “vision”, think of your personal world of family and friends, your community, work and colleagues…everything in the world that touches you in some way every day and how you want that to be. Continue reading

What If You’ve Got Just One Shot at Love?

What if you have one shot at creating the best relationship ever?

The fact of the matter is that everyone would be much better off if we actually believed that we only had one shot to build the relationship of our dreams.

Too many smart, articulate and successful adults around the world go into relationships without deliberate intention, and with the belief that if it doesn’t work they can break up or get divorced.

That one concept is poison to the entire relationship-building process!

  • Decide that divorce is NOT an option.
  • Figure out who you are in the deepest recesses of your being.
  • Stop acting from fear.
  • Stop settling for anything in your relationship just being good enough!

Think of the relationship itself this way: When you and your partner join the many facets of your lives together, you create a third energy, the relationship. The relationship lives and breathes as its own entity; an entity that you are entrusted to guard and protect, nurture and care for.

Making and keeping agreements and commitments is one of the ways couples make that happen. It is vital that partners know in the deepest part of their being that they can count on the promises and assurances offered by their beloved.

Fanning the flames of romance and intimacy is another way couples keep their relationship strong. And that requires that each of you take responsibility for creating romance and intimacy in your relationship.

On September 9th, I was the guest expert on the Wayne & Jayne EZ Rock Radio Show in British Columbia, Canada; and I was talking about this very topic. You can listen to this 5-minute segment by clicking this link:

We look forward to your comments, so feel free to share a thought or two!

Whatever you believe is true, is! Be deliberate. Be intentional. Believe you can have what you want!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~
Scan the QR Code and download your Free MYMARRIAGECOACH App

The Secret of Your Family’s Imprint on Your Beliefs and Attitudes

We are imprinted, positively and negatively, by the beliefs, attitudes, values and behaviors of those in our families.

For thousands of years people have passed along their wisdom and knowledge and built on the past and moved forward into the future telling each other stories.

Storytelling helps us make sense of our early life and family life, and often provides essential clues about the values, behaviors, attitudes and beliefs that we have embraced and live by, or have rejected and replaced.

Part of learning to tell and write our stories, is recognizing the themes and patterns of family beliefs, attitudes, values and behaviors.

Does your family have a mythology about children, elders, illness, money, expressing emotion, career etc., to which everyone subscribes?

When I introduce the idea of identifying themes and patterns, I frequently offer examples that may spark your thinking and awareness.

Continue reading

Lovers Can Shift Their Attitude and Choose Positive Action

September 13 is Positive Thinking Day in the US. Couples in Trouble all over the world can get out of trouble fast with the new Guide 3 Fast + Fun Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage TODAY, plus The 6-Point Plan to Create Romance and Intimacy created by Couples In Trouble Relationship Expert, Dr. Jackie Black.

Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB) August 26, 2014

 “Let’s make September all about staying mindful about our attitude and choosing a positive attitude. It’s like the story of the little train who kept saying, ‘I think I can, I think I can, I know I can.’ People with an ‘I think I can’ attitude are far more likely to succeed in love and create the life and love-life they long for,” says Dr. Jackie.

Staying happy in a relationship and loving for years and years can be tricky at best. Men and women get sucked into the logistical ruts they know as their lives as husbands, wives, life partners, and taxi services to kids.

That’s why Couples in Trouble Relationship Expert Dr. Jackie Black offers her 3 Fast + Fun Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage TODAY Guide as a free download.

“This is a much better path to happiness and a far less costly approach than the ‘conscious uncoupling’ making headlines by celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin,” Dr. Jackie says. “Let’s face it, the path to love’s bloom can take a sharp detour from happily ever after to dread because of bills, dirty laundry, and competing needs and priorities.”

To head off this potential collision and to transform from the day-to-day rut of family living to rediscover the spark of appreciation that brought partners together at the start, Dr. Jackie offers these practical strategies and timeless tips. Read More…

Shift your attitude and choose positive action! Couples in Trouble will learn to:

1: Create Intimacy with Deliberate Choices and Actions
2: Make Time to Connect
3: Create Romance and Time for Sex

Head over to today for a free download of my Guide 3 Fast + Fun Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage TODAY plus The 6-Point Plan to Create Romance and Intimacy.

Please feel free to share this with friends and family who need a little “Spark” in their marriage. I would love to hear your comments and opinions; so either post a comment or, on a personal level, contact me at

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~
Scan the QR Code and download your Free MYMARRIAGECOACH App

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at