Monthly Archives: November 2014

Gratitude Is Deliberate and Intentional

There is no limit to what you don’t have, and if that is where you put your focus, then your life will inevitably be filled with endless dissatisfaction.

Most people focus so heavily on the deficiencies in their lives that they barely perceive the good that counterbalances them.

Getting into the habit of showing appreciation and being grateful affirms you. The things you are lacking are still there, but all of a sudden you will recognize the multitude of goodies you didn’t realize were there as well!

Expressing gratitude can, indeed, change your way of seeing yourself and the world.

We know from tracking personal stories of people who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis that they exercise more regularly, report fewer physical symptoms, feel better about their lives as a whole, and are more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who record hassles or neutral life events.

Grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress.

The disposition toward gratitude appears to enhance pleasant feeling states more than it diminishes unpleasant emotions. Grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life; they are more likely to acknowledge a belief in the interconnectedness of all life and a commitment to and responsibility to others.

People who practice the principles of gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. They are rated, by their peers and people in their social networks, as more generous and are more likely to help someone with a personal problem or offer emotional support to another.

Continue reading

Does Too Much Sex Drive You Apart?

Below is a scenario that was presented during a call-in question and answer period on one of my radio interviews. I’m sure this isn’t the only couple with this question; so I thought I would share my answer in an article.

Ask Dr. Jackie:

My wife and I have been married for 6 years. In the beginning, we would have sex once a day, and now we have sex about 3 or 4 times a week. While I am happy with this situation, my wife is constantly coming on to me, begging me to sleep with her all the time. I feel like I just can’t keep up. I’m stressed about work and the bills, and all she wants is sex. I love her, and the sex is great; but there’s more to life than just sex.

Are we doomed to have a life of sexual difference? Is there some kind of median we can reach here? I don’t want her to cheat on me, but I just can’t give her sex every single day anymore. I deeply appreciate any advice you can provide to help us resolve this situation.

Dr. Jackie Answers:

Continue reading

The Business of Healthy Business Relationships

I often focus on primary love relationships and family relationships, but this time I am going to take a sharp left turn and talk about business relationships.

This isn’t really such a sharp departure, if you think about it. And here’s why: Relationships drive everything in life.

Good business relationships result in smooth transactions and solid referrals. Sales people, who take pride in the products they sell or represent, take pride in their business relationships and don’t have to resort to sleazy, pushy and obnoxious behavior.

Corporate politics can be kept to a dull roar when respect and integrity flow from the top down. Building healthy, solid relationships takes time. Building your good name and high visibility takes time. Building your business and wealth takes time; and all of these results depend on:

  • Acting on your own behalf
  • Saying what you mean and meaning what you say
  • Doing what you say and saying what you do
  • Being in personal integrity no matter what; and above all else…
  • Operating in the greater community and your personal world with good will and with good intention

Healthy Business Relationships will thrive if we pay attention to our BEING; become our prosperous, healthy Self and then get to work creating our best life and love life for the rest of our life!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~
Scan the QR Code and download your Free MYMARRIAGECOACH App

Your Life Circle—A Celebration of You

Rituals and celebrations are ways to intentionally create meaningful connections with special and important events and people. Many of us already celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and various holidays including rituals we may not even recognize as such.

I invite you to stretch beyond your comfort zone and experiment with the idea of ritual by starting with a ritual blessing yourself!

Here is an example of a ritual celebrating YOU! Dr. Barbara Ardinger created this Self-Blessing ritual. You can find the complete version of this ritual in her book A Woman’s Book of Rituals & Celebrations.

The Instructions:

Spend a few minutes gathering twelve things or representations of things (photographs or symbols) that you believe make an accurate picture of you. These things can include your daily organizer, car keys, a favorite object from your grandmother or a book you bought yesterday.

Sit in the middle of the floor and arrange the objects around you. Behind you place three things from your childhood; things passed down to you. Before you place three things new to your life; recent acquisitions, evidence of new interests. To your left place three left-brain things; things associated with numbers, logical thought, order, business, rational, logical and intellectual thought. To your right place three right-brain things; things associated with art, creativity, comfort and luxury, feelings, the religious or spiritual part of you life, beauty and nature.

Continue reading

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at