Monthly Archives: December 2014

Danny & Annie—May They Stir Your Heart

A colleague of mine sent this heartwarming video to me some time ago. It is fitting that, at the end of the year, we take stock of who we have been and how we have attended to the people and events in our lives that have mattered, and recommit ourselves to being and doing our best in 2015.

“…True love should be as committed and sacrificial as this. What if this video was required as pre-marriage counseling for every young couple in the world? We think it could do some serious good.”

I thank you for your faithful readership this past year; and I look forward to continuing to provide posts every week that will support you to create, build and maintain the most joyful, satisfying and lasting relationships you can imagine!

The dedicated team at DrJackieBlack.com joins me and wishes you and yours a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2015.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
Video used with permission
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com
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Living Single is Not a Condition to Improve

Many of us find ourselves un-partnered at various times in our lives. How do you experience being single and uninvolved?

Do you worry that you are unloved, or will never find that special someone to love?

Did you feel relief at the end of a marriage or relationship that was contentious or disappointing, one fraught with conflict and dissension?

Each one of us has our own unique experience of being single and living alone. For some men and women, being single is a message that he or she is not good enough, or is flawed in some serious way. People tell me that being single is the evidence that there is something wrong with them.

Sometimes men and women without partners are afraid that friends and family members think they are alone because they are not worth being cared for. Some single people feel self-conscious going into restaurants alone or with friends, especially on weekend nights.

Being single and living alone is a chance to focus on our self, a chance to strengthen our connection to our inner life and become more introspective and contemplative. Having only ourselves to consider can be a precious gift that brings us home to ourselves; to a part of us that springs forth like an exquisite fountain in the presence of a little quiet time. Being un-partnered offers a rich opportunity to catch up with our self.

Continue reading

Just Dating—The Do’s and Don’ts of Gift Giving

The holidays can be a confusing time for those who are “just” dating. There are so many considerations and questions that arise. I believe that some issues in our lives come up over and over and that helpful reminders are timeless.

Gifts:

  • Should I buy him a gift?
  • Should I simply send her a card?
  • Am I cheap or selfish if I don’t want to buy a gift at this point in our relationship?
  • How will I look to him if I don’t?
  • Am I creating some kind of pressure for her if I do?
  • If I do, how much money should I spend?
  • How personal a gift should I/can I buy?
  • Is it okay to buy a gift that is simply a token of my enjoying his or her company?

Celebrations with Family and Friends:

  • Should I invite him to my family’s home to light Hanukah candles?
  • Should I invite her to my family’s for tree trimming/Midnight Mass/Christmas Eve/Day dinner?
  • Should I include him in the traditional gift exchange? Is it okay to ask him to pay for a gift?
  • Should I invite her to accompany me to my office party or to the homes of friends and family for holiday parties?
  • What message will it send if I do or if I don’t?
  • Is it rude to not include him or her?

Then there are even more quandaries and sticky situations you could find yourself in if you and your new honey are of different faiths, or spiritual inclinations. And what if she or he has children or elderly parents living with her or him?

Happily for you, there is a perfect solution! Continue reading

The Joys and Dreads of Giving and Receiving Gifts

What do you think about giving and receiving gifts? Are you an enthusiastic, appreciative receiver or does getting a gift make you feel uncomfortable? Are you a spirited gift giver picking up small (or large) tokens of your esteem and affection wherever you go for the people you care about?

In a small survey I conducted over several months here’s what I discovered:

  • Women tend to be more comfortable than men giving gifts to family and friends not related to a special occasion.
  • Women are more apt than men to give a gift to a friend.
  • Men are willing and eager to buy gifts for loved ones especially for special occasions, though they feel enormously uncertain most of the time that the gift they buy will be valued and appreciated by the receiver.
  • Men have less of a need to receive a personal gift than women, particularly for birthdays and anniversaries.
  • Men are more welcoming and appreciative of a wider range of gifts than women.
  • Women make more meaning of the gifts they receive than men.

Here are a few personal Gift Giving & Receiving Guidelines I’d like to offer for your consideration: Continue reading

Does More Time Really Equal More Fun?

Most of us have a lifetime of responding to the signals of others without regard for who we are or what we need or want. The “art of being” is the order of the day; the art of knowing and accepting yourself, living in passion and joy; embracing and valuing fun and leisure.

Every day we are bombarded by erroneous and damaging messages in the culture that tell us that personal happiness, having fun, and self interest are bad and wrong, evil in some way, not worthy or valuable pursuits.

There must be a balance of work and play, seriousness and fun, activity and rest. Being in harmony with your true nature and living the life you were meant to live, means you must reconnect with that natural self and honor and affirm that self on an on-going basis. It means cherish your own desires, formulate your own values, and remain true to them.

Continue reading

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com