For most of us, it is equally difficult and uncomfortable to receive an apology as to offer an apology! Offering and receiving apologies is an art and requires learning a few simple skills and practicing those skills often.
Here Are 8 Easy Steps to Receiving an Apology:
1. Take a deep breath.
2. Remind yourself that the person who hurt you is not the enemy.
3. Remind yourself that the person who hurt you is a person you cherish and value and you know she or he wouldn’t hurt you for anything in the world.
4. Remind yourself that a very common response to telling someone that they hurt you is for them to get mad at you.
5. Keep breathing!
6. Now repeat after me…
- “I believe that she or he is sorry that what she or he said (or didn’t say) or what she or he did (or didn’t do) that made me feel like she or he doesn’t care about me.
- I believe that it was not his or her intention to say or do anything that would upset me or cause me hurt.
- I choose to take in my partner’s acknowledgement that something happened that hurt me.
- I choose to allow this apology to begin to repair my hurt feelings.
- I choose to allow this apology to soften my heart, calm my upset and cool my anger.
- I choose to allow this apology to soothe the wound in my heart now.”
7. Then take another deep breath and be quiet.
8. Allow yourself to begin to be transformed by your knowing that you are loved, respected and valued. Allow the power of apology to start the healing process.
Take a few minutes now and review the last three “posts” about Apologies. These four “posts” represent the entire “Apology Process.”
Practice these skills and make it a priority to become an expert at offering and receiving/accepting apologies. It will improve your relationships and the quality of your life beyond measure!
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com
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