Has anyone ever told you she or he needed “some space”?

All too often men and women are threatened by their partners needing or wanting “space”—an opportunity to enjoy solitude.

They somehow feel that if their partners really loved them they wouldn’t want to be apart from them. Or they take it personally and project that they have done or said something that has offended their partner and she or he now wants to get away.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

If you get lonely or feel rejected when your partner wants to take some personal time, examine your fears and your attitudes.

If you feel the pain of loneliness or fear when your partner needs to create a time for solitude, please remember that you are reacting to real experiences in your past; not what is happening right now, in the present moment, with your partner.

These feelings and fears inside you are not about what is happening between you and your partner right now. They have preceded him or her by decades.

It is healthy and actually good for both partners and good for the relationship for partners to take time to be alone. It does NOT mean anything about you or your relationship. Rather, it is a message from your partner about his or her need to be present, listen to the quiet inside, and experience his or her “Me‑ness.”

Creating opportunities for solitude and becoming comfortable in your own company are skills you can learn and which will be tremendously beneficial throughout your life.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

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