On Being Single

I bet you didn’t know there are 100+ million single men and women in the United States today.

What does being single mean to you?

Being single is not…

  • An affliction
  • A condition
  • An unfortunate state
  • A problem
  • Something that you need to change

Being single is not evidence …

…that you are not lovable

…that there is something wrong with you

…that you need to be better, different or more

Each one of us has a unique purpose. We create meaningful work, rich relationships and a magnificent, fulfilling life when we live on purpose. When we live from our being we live a life in alignment with our vision, values and life purpose.

When we live from our being we can genuinely love and be loved by others.

Don’t confuse being single with living a life that is “less than.” Avoid judging and comparing the lives of others. Richness, passion, satisfaction, fulfillment and personal reward come in many different packages.

If you find yourself judging yourself or others, stop and listen to the voice deep within you. What are the words that are being spoken? What are the thoughts associated with this judgment? Can you identify the energy or the feelings inside you? Do you notice any tension anywhere in your body?

What does your mother believe about being single? What does your father believe about being single? Was there a time in your life when someone you respected offered a derogatory point of view about being single?

Sit down for a few minutes and invite your thoughts, memories, feelings and body sensations to be present inside you. Take a few deep breaths. Allow yourself to just be with this experience. Resist making any interpretations or any meaning about what you are experiencing.

Our judgments, actions and reactions are a rich source of information for us to explore and to learn from.  Thank yourself for becoming aware of this judgment you hold about yourself and or others. There is nothing to do in the moment.  Allowing the awareness is a big enough job. Respect it and let it just be for now.

There is an old saying, “All things in their own time and space.” Let this be the time that you are becoming aware. With increased awareness comes increased choice and deeper knowing. Trust the process.

Remember, only YOU can make it Happen!

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com