Divorce is a Legitimate Choice

For many men and women in a wide variety of situations divorce is a legitimate and appropriate choice.

Getting divorced is a process and consists of 3 main elements:

  • Emotional
  • Financial
  • Legal

Healing from divorce is not easy. It is often a long and excruciating process and always brings out strong emotions. The divorce process frequently leaves people feeling lonely, flawed, enraged, undesirable, helpless, empty and emotionally raw and overwhelmed.

If you or someone you know is going through a divorce, the best recommendation I have is to put together a team of knowledgeable, experienced professionals who will work on your behalf for the best possible outcome for you!

Lawyers, mediators, therapists, coaches, accountants, clergy and financial planners all have valuable points of view to consider. If you have children, stay in close communication with your children’s teachers and the parents of their friends.

An important part of the repair process is learning to honor and heal the many emotions of divorce. Please remember that all these emotions are a normal and natural response to divorce: Continue reading

Touched by The Heart of A Woman

Mothers have been recognized in special ways for thousands of years, since Ancient Greece.

The month of May is the month that people in many parts of the world specifically celebrate Mothers.

As a tribute to women all across the globe, I am re-printing this wonderful and heart-warming poem written by Bonnie Ross-Parker. Ms. Ross-Parker’s contact information is at the end of this poem if you wish to contact her directly.

“The heart of a woman is as big as life. She initiates conversations with strangers in the bathroom. She recommends the perfect place to find the perfect dress to a woman she meets at the beauty salon. She clips coupons to send to her daughter-in-law. She smiles when she would rather scream, cries when she is happy, and often says “yes” when she means “no.”

A woman keeps the refrigerator full just in case someone stops by unexpectedly. A woman fights for what she believes in by supporting community endeavors with both time and money. She listens to friends, helps with homework, and gives unconditional loves.

Women cry over their children’s accomplishments, during a romantic movie, while reading sentimental cards at a card shop or when opening a special present. Women openly express happiness when hearing about the birth of a baby, an engagement, or a marriage. Women share their emotions from their heart.

Women remain strong even when they think they have no strength left. They comfort loved ones in mourning, visit friends and family who are ill, and offer hugs and kisses to soothe broken hearts. Simply put, women connect! They write letters, make phone calls, send e-mails and stay in touch. Women care!

Women are present wherever and whenever they are needed. They intuitively know where to offer their love and support. Women do more than give birth. Where a woman is there exists joy and hope. She brings compassion and companionship. She gives moral support. She acknowledges. She reassures. Women are mothers, daughters, wives, lovers, sisters, aunts, and grandmothers. They give, they guide, and stay grounded. They are amazing not only for what they accomplish, but for the values they impart. Women earn our respect every day not only because of what they do, but because of who they are.

When you are touched by the heart of a woman, and realize how wonderful she is, be sure to let her know.”

Poem re-printed with permission from Bonnie Ross-Parker
Web site:

To Celebrate and Honor All Moms around the world this month, the dedicated team at would like to take this opportunity to say…

Je t’aime, Maman!
Te amo, Màma!
Ich liebe dich, Mutter!
S’ayapo, Màna!
Ya tyebya lyublyu, Mat’!
Ti amo, Madre!
Ani ohevet otach, Ima!
I love you, Mom!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

Family Gift Giving for the Holidays

The holidays can be a stressful time of year for many people. Often you are juggling shopping, traveling, visiting and entertaining. For many of you, the most stressful part of the holidays is family gift giving.

Here are some suggestions to ease your stress:

Key questions to ask yourself:

  • Who do I want to buy gifts for?
  • How much do I want to spend?
  • What do I want to give?

Make a list of all of the people you would like to buy gifts for. Set a budget of how much you’d like to spend and then jot down at least two gift ideas for each person on your list.

Tips to reduce the number of gifts you buy: Continue reading

Calming the Tumult of Living With Life-Threatening or Chronic Illness

When you are a Couple Living With Life-threatening or Chronic Illness, one of the challenges you might experience is that you and your partner will have different reactions to the same situation, different feelings, different needs and different priorities.

Even though you believe that you are facing the same challenge and that you are on the same side, sometimes your needs and priorities and your partner’s needs and priorities will be competing with each other.

While we can’t change, nor would we want to change your feelings, needs and personal priorities, we can absolutely make these differences less prominent and problematic in your relationship.

A first good step to calming the tumult that often accompanies couples living with life-threatening or chronic illness is to remember (and ultimately live by) Virginia Satir’s The Five Freedoms.

I invite you to try this:

Continue reading

The Secret of Your Family’s Imprint on Your Beliefs and Attitudes

We are imprinted, positively and negatively, by the beliefs, attitudes, values and behaviors of those in our families.

For thousands of years people have passed along their wisdom and knowledge and built on the past and moved forward into the future telling each other stories.

Storytelling helps us make sense of our early life and family life, and often provides essential clues about the values, behaviors, attitudes and beliefs that we have embraced and live by, or have rejected and replaced.

Part of learning to tell and write our stories, is recognizing the themes and patterns of family beliefs, attitudes, values and behaviors.

Does your family have a mythology about children, elders, illness, money, expressing emotion, career etc., to which everyone subscribes?

When I introduce the idea of identifying themes and patterns, I frequently offer examples that may spark your thinking and awareness.

Continue reading

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at