Marriage

Bride Walks Down the Aisle and Has Everyone in Tears

If ever there’s a moment in a girl’s life when she’s guaranteed to be the center of attention, it’s when she’s walking down the aisle at her wedding. This bride took advantage of a captive audience to bring the house down and do something very special for her future husband. Everyone was in tears – especially the groom.

I was very touched by this bride’s intention to send a very special message to her groom, and I noticed that I was equally hopeful that they spend the time and make the effort to ensure that the love and caring they obviously shared on the day of their wedding will stay strong and lasting throughout their lives. I think it is worth saying again: Love is NOT enough. Love + Self-knowledge + Partner-knowledge + the Essential Relationship Success Skills = a Happy and lasting Relationship! Building the life that you love with the love of your life is completely do-able. May your deliberate intention light the way forward to many years of a deeply satisfying love life.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

The Big Wedding ~ First Comes Knowledge, then Comes Marriage

Wedding season is now in full swing!

Newlyweds throughout the world spend more time, energy and money on their weddings than on building their relationships and divorce-proofing their marriages!

According to the Journal of Family Psychology, premarital education is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction, lower levels of destructive conflicts and higher levels of interpersonal commitment to spouses.

The results of a survey in four states in the U.S., strongly suggests that couples that received premarital education had a 31% lower chance of divorce.

What does it take to build a healthy, committed, joyful and lasting relationship?

It takes…

  • Individual and Shared Vision, Values, and Marriage Goals
  • Extreme Self-Awareness and Partner-Awareness
  • Understanding the influences of Your family, My family and Our family
  • Skills to Reduce Conflict, Repair Hurt Feelings, and Reestablish the Status Quo
  • Recognizing Disappointment and Disillusionment
  • Improving Listening and Communication Skills
  • Setting, Maintaining and Honoring Boundaries
  • Elegantly Crafting Agreements and Commitments
  • Willingness and Ability to talk about Sex and Intimacy, and Money

Getting married without Premarital or Newlywed coaching is like getting behind the wheel of a car without a driver’s license; or starting a business without a business plan.

Information and awareness prepares you for the inevitable challenges, conflicts and discontent that are normal and are to be expected when you begin to weave your lives together to create the rich tapestry we call marriage.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

Declare June Marriage Renewal Month

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.”
–Margaret Young

We live in a contemporary society that often ignores the value and importance of B-E-I-N-G.

June is known as the wedding month in the US and in many other countries around the world.

If you are a soon-to-be-married couple, I vigorously encourage you to spend much more time focusing on how to co-create a strong and lasting marriage than you do on your wedding plans. Once all the food is eaten and the guests have gone home the wedding will be over. But your married life will just be starting and you are in charge of how happy and satisfied you will be for the rest of your life.

While the Huffington Post reports that getting spicy and adding the element of surprise are hot wedding trends, the fact of the matter is that you will be much better served by learning how to keep the love you feel on your wedding day just as strong in year ten as it was that day!

Staying happy in a relationship and feeling loving and satisfied for years and years can be tricky at best. Be very mindful and intentional about NOT getting sucked into the logistical ruts most couples fall into who is going to do what, when and how; rather than keeping those embers of intimacy and romance burning on and on.

Whether you are married for a few weeks or for a number of decades, declare the month of June to be Marriage Renewal Month; the month you will renew and revitalize your marriage; to reconnect to each other and recommit to whatever will nurture and support your life and your love-life for many more years.

Here are 3-Simple Steps to Renew Your Marriage this month:

Continue reading

Does More Time Really Equal More Fun?

Most of us have a lifetime of responding to the signals of others without regard for who we are or what we need or want. The “art of being” is the order of the day; the art of knowing and accepting yourself; living in passion and joy; embracing and valuing fun and leisure.

Every day we are bombarded by erroneous and damaging messages in the culture that tell us that personal happiness, having fun, and self interest are bad and wrong, evil in some way, not worthy or valuable pursuits.

There must be a balance of work and play, seriousness and fun, activity and rest. Being in harmony with your true nature and living the life you were meant to live, means you must reconnect with that natural self and honor and affirm that self on an on-going basis. It means cherish your own desires, formulate your own values, and remain true to them.

Begin to take time for yourself without deciding that each moment has to be spent productively. In the beginning you may have to schedule this time to ensure that you take it. Many adults never become completely comfortable playing or even with the idea of having fun or spending leisure time.

Here is an exercise you can use to help you uncover and discover underlying beliefs about fun, deserving to have fun, spending money to create the opportunity to have fun, and wanting to be with others or by yourself when you have fun.

Continue reading

Self-Esteem is Created Consciously with Intention

Self-esteem is a term that many people toss around, and I bet that the vast majority of you don’t really understand what in the world Self esteem really means.

For a moment, I invite you to consider that Self-esteem–esteeming one’s Self–is really code for the conscious knowing that you are at choice every minute!

Self-esteem is your willingness and ability to honor your legitimate needs; to say your real “yes” and your real “no”; to set and maintain your boundaries; and to act on your own behalf.

Self esteem is the willingness and ability to positively impact, affect and influence people and events around you.

You have an inner guidance system that drives you and guides your choice-making whether you are aware of it or not. Your system includes:

  • Vision
  • Life-purpose
  • Mission
  • Needs/Values

Your Self-esteem is deeply informed by the level and the extent of your awareness of your inner guidance system, and your deliberate intention to live consciously and be at choice.

What so many people forget is that lasting happiness, peace of mind, deep and joyful love, abundance, physical and emotional health are created primarily through who you are being rather than what you are doing or having.

You create your life and your love life through your beliefs, intentions, and the actions you take in the world.

Let’s look at each of these separate yet inter-related parts of the four corners of your inner life:

1. Your Vision is your idea of the world you want to live in and be a part of; what you want your life to be.

When you think of your “vision,” think of your personal world of family and friends, your community, work and colleagues…everything in the world that touches you in some way every day and how you want that to be. Continue reading

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com