Nurturing

Bride Walks Down the Aisle and Has Everyone in Tears

If ever there’s a moment in a girl’s life when she’s guaranteed to be the center of attention, it’s when she’s walking down the aisle at her wedding. This bride took advantage of a captive audience to bring the house down and do something very special for her future husband. Everyone was in tears – especially the groom.

I was very touched by this bride’s intention to send a very special message to her groom, and I noticed that I was equally hopeful that they spend the time and make the effort to ensure that the love and caring they obviously shared on the day of their wedding will stay strong and lasting throughout their lives. I think it is worth saying again: Love is NOT enough. Love + Self-knowledge + Partner-knowledge + the Essential Relationship Success Skills = a Happy and lasting Relationship! Building the life that you love with the love of your life is completely do-able. May your deliberate intention light the way forward to many years of a deeply satisfying love life.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

Declare June Marriage Renewal Month

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.”
–Margaret Young

We live in a contemporary society that often ignores the value and importance of B-E-I-N-G.

June is known as the wedding month in the US and in many other countries around the world.

If you are a soon-to-be-married couple, I vigorously encourage you to spend much more time focusing on how to co-create a strong and lasting marriage than you do on your wedding plans. Once all the food is eaten and the guests have gone home the wedding will be over. But your married life will just be starting and you are in charge of how happy and satisfied you will be for the rest of your life.

While the Huffington Post reports that getting spicy and adding the element of surprise are hot wedding trends, the fact of the matter is that you will be much better served by learning how to keep the love you feel on your wedding day just as strong in year ten as it was that day!

Staying happy in a relationship and feeling loving and satisfied for years and years can be tricky at best. Be very mindful and intentional about NOT getting sucked into the logistical ruts most couples fall into who is going to do what, when and how; rather than keeping those embers of intimacy and romance burning on and on.

Whether you are married for a few weeks or for a number of decades, declare the month of June to be Marriage Renewal Month; the month you will renew and revitalize your marriage; to reconnect to each other and recommit to whatever will nurture and support your life and your love-life for many more years.

Here are 3-Simple Steps to Renew Your Marriage this month:

Continue reading

What to Say to Someone Who is Grieving

What do you say to someone whose life comes crashing down around him or her; whose life, as they knew it, is forever and profoundly changed?

The first thing to really recognize is that when someone experiences the death of a loved one, the loss is so pervasive, the pain so excruciating, that there are no words that will be particularly helpful or meaningful to hear.

You see, grieving is a wholly feeling experience. The intellectual recognition that someone has died is present inside us immediately, and is very different from the emotional recognition that someone has died; really getting that you will never see his face again; never hear her voice again; never be able to throw your arms around each other and share a bear hug.

The emotional recognition is a normal, natural and necessary process we call grieving.

Recognize that people who are grieving the loss of a loved one – even the death of an elderly person who had a good life and whose death was expected – are experiencing something that is incomprehensible. Inexplicable. Unimaginable. Inconsolable.

And in fact, sometimes people say the most stupid things to people who are grieving – even with the best of intentions.

Don’t Say This to a Grieving Person
Continue reading

Touched by The Heart of A Woman

Mothers have been recognized in special ways for thousands of years, since Ancient Greece.

The month of May is the month that people in many parts of the world specifically celebrate Mothers.

As a tribute to women all across the globe, I am re-printing this wonderful and heart-warming poem written by Bonnie Ross-Parker. Ms. Ross-Parker’s contact information is at the end of this poem if you wish to contact her directly.

“The heart of a woman is as big as life. She initiates conversations with strangers in the bathroom. She recommends the perfect place to find the perfect dress to a woman she meets at the beauty salon. She clips coupons to send to her daughter-in-law. She smiles when she would rather scream, cries when she is happy, and often says “yes” when she means “no.”

A woman keeps the refrigerator full just in case someone stops by unexpectedly. A woman fights for what she believes in by supporting community endeavors with both time and money. She listens to friends, helps with homework, and gives unconditional loves.

Women cry over their children’s accomplishments, during a romantic movie, while reading sentimental cards at a card shop or when opening a special present. Women openly express happiness when hearing about the birth of a baby, an engagement, or a marriage. Women share their emotions from their heart.

Women remain strong even when they think they have no strength left. They comfort loved ones in mourning, visit friends and family who are ill, and offer hugs and kisses to soothe broken hearts. Simply put, women connect! They write letters, make phone calls, send e-mails and stay in touch. Women care!

Women are present wherever and whenever they are needed. They intuitively know where to offer their love and support. Women do more than give birth. Where a woman is there exists joy and hope. She brings compassion and companionship. She gives moral support. She acknowledges. She reassures. Women are mothers, daughters, wives, lovers, sisters, aunts, and grandmothers. They give, they guide, and stay grounded. They are amazing not only for what they accomplish, but for the values they impart. Women earn our respect every day not only because of what they do, but because of who they are.

When you are touched by the heart of a woman, and realize how wonderful she is, be sure to let her know.”

Poem re-printed with permission from Bonnie Ross-Parker
Web site: http://www.bonnierossparker.com

To Celebrate and Honor All Moms around the world this month, the dedicated team at DrJackieBlack.com would like to take this opportunity to say…

Je t’aime, Maman!
Te amo, Màma!
Ich liebe dich, Mutter!
S’ayapo, Màna!
Ya tyebya lyublyu, Mat’!
Ti amo, Madre!
Ani ohevet otach, Ima!
I love you, Mom!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

Intimacy Can Be Yours—If You Act on It!

Creating, nurturing and maintaining intimacy in long-term, committed relationships requires intention, deliberate choice and deliberate action. Nothing about creating intimacy and truly being intimate with another person is unconscious. Closeness is enhanced through purposeful sensitivity, tenderness and respect for each other.

Being congruent is a process in which you value yourself; you take ownership of your thoughts and feelings, and your resources and choices; honor and express your deepest knowing about yourself and be sure that what you say and how you say it match what you are feeling.

There are three good reasons that you and your partner might not always communicate effectively with each other.

First, most people don’t identify their feelings accurately.

Secondly, it is very difficult for most people to find the right words to express how they feel.

Lastly, if they do know how they feel and if they have a few words to accurately express how they feel, most lack the courage to let anybody know.

Does this sound like you or your partner? Identifying your feelings, finding the right words to express your feelings and mustering the courage to actually express your feelings to him or her really isn’t so complicated.

Don’t avoid saying what is in your heart or on your mind to say. Say it! It will go a long way to deepen your intimacy!

Don’t hide your worries because you don’t want your partner to know that you are not in control. Share them! Watch the intimacy between you soar!

Don’t dismiss your hopes and dreams because you are afraid he or she won’t share your excitement. Honor them! Allow your partner in, and experience the intimacy between the two of you intensify!

When you stay emotionally available and present, the intimacy you are building will deepen, and get richer and better. Create a safe and supportive place to tell each other the truth mindfully, responsibly and respectfully and always remember that the foundation of your relationship is built on good will and good intention.

So be intentional. Be certain that your deliberate choice and deliberate action send the unmistakable message that you are happy to be with your partner and that your life is better and richer with her or him than it could ever be alone. Take the time to truly develop, take care of and preserve the intimacy of your relationship, learn to roll with the ups and downs and you will enjoy the warmth and tenderness of the relationship you want and deserve.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com