The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz

Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, is a powerful reminder of our self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering.

According to don Miguel Ruiz, “We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands. We have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.”

He goes on to say that we make thousands of agreements with ourselves and with others. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, what we feel, what we believe and how we should behave.

In these agreements we say, “This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things, and some things I cannot do. This is reality, that is fantasy; this is possible, that is impossible.”

Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, is a powerful reminder of our self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. He tells us that if we want to live a life of joy and fulfillment we have to find the courage to break those agreements that are fear-based and claim our personal power.

We can do that by adopting these four new agreements:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate to others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy, as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

The only reason we are happy is because we choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice.

Please join me in challenging the old agreements and adopting these new four agreements. Let’s remind ourselves, and each other every day to choose to live a life of happiness and joy, free from fears, doubt and regret!

Until next time remember…

Only YOU can make it Happen!

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter

Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at