What Do You Mean You Need Space?

Has anyone ever told you she or he needed “some space"?

All too often men and women are threatened by their partners needing or wanting “space”—an opportunity to enjoy solitude.

They somehow feel that if their partners really loved them they wouldn’t want to be apart from them. Or they take it personally and project that they have done or said something that has offended their partner and she or he now wants to get away.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

If you get lonely or feel rejected when your Honey wants to take some personal time, examine your fears and your attitudes.

If you feel the pain of loneliness or fear when your partner needs to create a time for solitude, please remember that you are reacting to a real experiences in your past; not what is happening right now, in the present moment, with your partner.

These feelings and fears inside you are not about what is happening between you and your partner right now.  They have preceded him or her by decades.

It is healthy and actually good for both partners and good for the relationship for partners to take time to be alone. It does NOT mean anything about you or your relationship. Rather, it is a message from your partner about his or her need to be present, listen to the quiet inside, and experience his or her “Me‑ness.”

Creating opportunities for solitude and becoming comfortable in your own company are skills you can learn and which will be hugely beneficial throughout your life.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

Dr Jackie Black Newsletter


Hello. I am Dr. Jackie Black, your Couples in Trouble Expert. Since 1999, I have guided many formerly frustrated and desperately unhappy Couples in Trouble to happiness, closeness and having more fun together than they ever imagined. My years of experience combined with your commitment to your personal growth will enable you to welcome the results you have always wanted and never believed were possible in your marriage.

Learn more at DrJackieBlack.com