It is our personal responsibility to become mindful and stay mindful of our own needs and wants as well as the needs and wants of our partners, children and others in our family and social systems.
I think most of us are better at keeping track of what others need and want than we are staying current with our own needs and ourselves.
- Are you comfortable with the notion that it is your right to have needs and that you cannot meet all your needs?
- Are you clear about some or many of your current needs? Do you recognize your needs and respect them?
- Do you have a good understanding of which needs you can meet and which needs can/must be met by others?
- Do you agree, at least in concept, that it is acceptable and, in fact, reasonable to ask others to meet some of your needs?
- How able and willing are you to honor your needs and ask others to help you meet your needs?
- In the U.S. especially, we are becoming a culture of “do-it-yourselfers.” Autonomy, self-reliance, self-sufficiency and independence are too highly valued and I think we are taking some of these behaviors and beliefs to a dangerous extreme.
Some of us are actually excluding others and not taking advantage of help and support when we could or should do so.
I cannot say strongly enough that personal, individual needs are completely legitimate! And some needs must be met by others. We cannot meet all of our needs, nor are we “less-than” because we cannot. We are simply normal.
If you did not answer YES to the first four bulleted questions above and answer the fifth bullet with a resounding VERY, please take some time and explore your thoughts, beliefs and fears about having needs, meeting your own needs and getting some of your needs met by others.
The whole area of Needs and Wants and getting your Needs met is widely misunderstood and misrepresented.
I invite you to discuss this with the folks in your life—family members, at work and with friends. Let’s start a public dialogue right here.
Please post your thoughts and questions using the comment link below. I’ll answer your questions and offer my points of view for your consideration.
Please take the time to consider your needs and how you get them met. You’re worth it!
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com
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