Intimacy isn’t an automatic response. Intimacy isn’t a given because you love someone or feel loved by someone. Intimacy doesn’t come with a commitment or with a marriage license. The basic, fundamental element of intimacy is cherishing each other!


Creating, nurturing and maintaining intimacy in long-term, committed relationships is the toughest and the most worthwhile undertaking one can accomplish.


It requires intention, deliberate choice and deliberate action. Nothing about creating intimacy and truly being intimate with another person is unconscious. Closeness is enhanced through purposeful sensitivity, tenderness and respect for each other.


Intimacy is the result of celebrating each other; celebrating each other’s presence and celebrating being in each other’s presence!


  • Be appreciative.
  • Offer acknowledgement.
  • Give the benefit of the doubt.
  • Be the most ardent cheerleader.
  • Be an enthusiastic supporter.
  • Applaud your partner’s efforts.
  • Extol his or her virtues.
  • Be generous of spirit and open hearted.
  • Always remember to be encouraging.

Be intentional. Be certain that your deliberate choice and deliberate action send the unmistakable message that you are happy to be with him or her and that your life is better and richer with him or her than it could ever be alone. Take the time to truly develop, take care of and preserve the intimacy of your relationship, and you will enjoy the warmth and tenderness of the relationship you want and deserve.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

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