One of the most frequently asked questions I hear is, “How do I choose the right mate and build a healthy, loving and lasting relationship?”
Most of us find ourselves without personal experience or good models of healthy relationships and we feel inadequate or unsure about how to build a healthy, lasting committed relationship.
In building a healthy relationship…
- Each partner values the open sharing of thoughts and feelings.
- There is a routine or regularity to events.
- Conflict occurs and each partner works to resolve disagreements, upsets and hurts by talking it out together.
- Partners communicate clearly; they say what they mean and mean what they say.
- Partners care about how each other and how they feel; they are responsive to the feelings and needs of each other.
- Each partner sets boundaries, both physically and emotionally.
- Each partner interacts with and is involved in the larger world.
Think of the relationship itself this way: When you and your partner join the many facets of your lives together, you create a third energy, the relationship. The relationship lives and breathes as its own entity; an entity that you are entrusted to guard and protect, nurture and care for.
Making and keeping agreements and commitments is one of the ways couples make that happen. It is vital that partners know in the deepest part of their being that they can count on the promises and assurances offered by their beloved.
In a long-term, primary, monogamous love relationship we make agreements and commitments to each other AND to the relationship.
Remember, only YOU can make it Happen!