Can we talk?  About this phenomenon called dating, I mean.  Because many contemporary women are less than honest with themselves; and many are even less honest than that with each other.

How you came to be where you are is less important at this point than recognizing and fully, consciously embracing that you are here; alone; maybe lonely maybe not; relying on yourself; stretching and growing in new ways and more deeply every day; and choosing, with deliberate intention, to be in charge of designing and managing the rest of your life.

So what’s your story?

–Were you deeply dissatisfied and finally let yourself know that if you didn’t get out you were going to die?

–Or did you finally get it – that even though you did it right and followed all the rules “happily ever after” wasn’t so happy?

–Or did he turn you in for a newer, shinier model?

–Or have you survived the unspeakable pain of the love of your life dying years before his time?


Whatever brought you here, now, in this place in time, on your little square of terra firma, welcome to the rest of your life!

Your starting point

We all have a need for a certain amount of stability in our lives. There are four cornerstones that create are the foundation of your life:

  1. Your needs and values; the external and internal structures of your life.
  2. Your vision; what you want your life to be.
  3. Your life purpose; your reason for being.
  4. Your mission; the daily choices and behaviors that put into action living on purpose with vision driven by needs and values.

These form the basis of your Inner Life. Right now you may not be clear on what some of these are, but they are all there in your subconscious and help you to make decisions that are right for you.

These four cornerstones ensure that you are engaging in your life and in the dating process with integrity and with accurate information and full awareness about yourself.

Let me explain:  you create your life and your love life through your beliefs, intentions and the actions you take in the world. Every one of us has an inner guidance system that drives us and guides us in making choices, whether we are aware of it or not.

Your inner guidance system is a combination of these four related, but separate, parts. A love relationship is most fulfilling and satisfying when it is in alignment with your needs/values, vision, life purpose and mission.

If you live from your very being, you will live a life in alignment with your needs/values, vision and life purpose. When you live from your very being, you can genuinely love and be loved by another; you can know a love that grows out of choice. Real love with your partner-in-life will allow you to experience being loved by someone who chooses to love you, who sees in you something worth loving.

What so many people forget is that lasting happiness, peace of mind, deep and joyful love, abundance, physical and emotional health are created primarily through who you are being rather than what you are doing or having.  It is who you are being that matters most! We are human beings first and foremost, after all. To be, then to do and have is part of our very essence; to be our best, to be all that we desire to be.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


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