Many of us find ourselves un-partnered at various times in our lives. How do you experience being single and uninvolved?
Do you worry that you are unloved, or will never find that special someone to love?
Did you feel relief at the end of a marriage or relationship that was contentious or disappointing, one fraught with conflict and dissension?
Each one of us has our own unique experience of being single and living alone. For some men and women, being single is a message that he or she is not good enough, or is flawed in some serious way. People tell me that being single is the evidence that there is something wrong with them.
Sometimes men and women without partners are afraid that friends and family members think they are alone because they are not worth being cared for. Some single people feel self-conscious going into restaurants alone or with friends, especially on weekend nights.
Being single and living alone is a chance to focus on our self, a chance to strengthen our connection to our inner life and become more introspective and contemplative. Having only ourselves to consider can be a precious gift that brings us home to ourselves; to a part of us that springs forth like an exquisite fountain in the presence of a little quiet time. Being un-partnered offers a rich opportunity to catch up with our self.
We have no doubt changed a lot over the years, though sometimes we hardly notice. It is a good time examine and explore your inside self so you can create the outside life that matches who you are being and becoming!
When we have only ourselves to consider, we have the luxury to explore new interests, dream new dreams, spend time with valued friends and family members. It can be a time to read the books you have been meaning to check out of the library, take that art class you have always wanted to take, play more golf, write poetry, learn something you have always wanted to learn, go places that have sparked your curiosity, participate in activities that move your spirit and make your heart sing; to engage life in a very personal and private way.
Embrace your life and live in the incredible moment. If being partnered again is your heart’s desire, live in the truth of that knowing. But don’t stop being present in the fullest way possible now.
Don’t waste one minute waiting to meet someone special. Be your own special you. Spend each minute living your life fully and coming from the goodness, richness, and “enoughness” that is your very essence!
Whether you choose to be single the rest of your life or someday co-create a loving partnership, being present and fully engaged in your life will remain the centerpiece of all that you are and all that you do. Take good care and let me know how you are doing!
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast