When you plan a date, plan to participate in interests and activities that you enjoy. Invite someone into your life. Be willing to let the people you date experience you, in the places in which you are the most comfortable doing the things that you most love to do.
Dates are a time to create opportunities to do the things you most enjoy. On dates, listen carefully to your inner voice(s) and to the person you are with. Experience the other person and who he or she is in their heart and soul.
Married and committed couples–this is your opportunity to go inside yourself and figure out how to plan fun and leisure time. Many adults never become completely comfortable playing or even with the idea of having fun or spending leisure time. Take turns planning your special time together.
Doing things together strengthens a relationship, but all too often you are reacting to messages from the past that tell you that personal happiness, having fun, and self-interest are not worthy or valuable pursuits. Nonsense! I invite you to break free of other people’s limiting beliefs and values, exploring family dynamics, and challenging cultural models that may keep you stuck is life-long work. Ironically, part of the work is learning how to create and enjoy leisure time, recognizing and acknowledging the value of fun (play) and bringing balance into your life.
If you enjoy good food, explore interesting restaurants and out-of-the-way eateries that ignite your enjoyment and share them with new people or your partner.
If things of beauty move you, make a list of beautiful places and interesting buildings in your area to visit on a date. If you want to attract passion you must be passionate!
If you are a patron of the arts frequent your local art galleries, community theaters and musician hangouts. Most communities have art festivals, art walks, craft shows; small galleries have “meet the artist nights” with great munchies and they are usually free; high schools and colleges often have musical and theatrical productions that rival the pros.
If you love to walk or hike, take some time and mark out some city walks to take just as if you were a tourist getting to know your city. Or grab a book on local hiking trails and keep it handy.
You get the idea!
Remember: Dating is the time that you are checking out the one you are dating. You are observing, listening, and getting a sense of who he or she is. Not vise versa!!
Dating as a married or committed couple creates space in your relationship to re-invite your partner into your life and re-ignite that spark that may have long-since been placed on the back burner.
Be actively engaged in the life that you love, and you will more readily attract or rediscover the love of your life!
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
You are invited to stay in the know by listening to
Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast