Resist creating relationships because it is safe and you are afraid. Acting from fear can never result in the rich, comfortable relationship that is your heart’s desire.
Avoid making decisions about love relationships based on fear, disillusionment, or a belief that you have to settle. Resist acting on the fear that you aren’t going to find anyone who will cherish you and accept your faults.
Recognize that you can co-create a life-long partnership that will honor, encourage, and nurture your best self.
Recently a teleclass participant told the group that the man she is dating is a wonderful person; takes very good care of her; though there just isn’t the romantic chemistry that she wants to feel. Another teleclass participant complained of missing feeling the attraction that he has felt with other women, yet, his current lady really loves him and treats him better than anyone ever treated him before.
These folks are in conflict about moving forward with their relationships. Little wonder! There seems to be little or no emotional intimacy between them; and the closeness is definitely missing.
Were it not for the fact that they feel loved, are taken care of and are treated better than ever before, neither would be considering creating life-long partnerships. The behaviors they are valuing are nice, but they are not enough on which to build a life-long love relationship that will stand the test of time!
If these stories are familiar to you, think about your last relationship and ask yourself the following questions:
- Did your wants and needs, hopes and dreams, ideas, beliefs, and values matter to you as much as your partner’s mattered to you?
- Did you love him/her?
- Did you respect him/her and feel respected by him/her?
- Did the two of you learn how to hear each other and communicate when you were hurt, angry, disappointed, or disagreed about differences?
- Did you like yourself and how you felt when you were together?
- Did being in the presence of one another enrich you?
Trust your goodness and “enoughness.” Have the courage to be present for yourself and others will be present for you.
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!