Self-esteem is a term that many people toss around, and I bet that the vast majority of you don’t really understand what in the world Self-esteem really means.

For a moment, I invite you to consider that Self-esteem–esteeming one’s Self–is really code for the conscious knowing that you are at choice every minute!

Self-esteem is your willingness and ability to honor your legitimate needs; to say your real “yes” and your real “no”; to set and maintain your boundaries; and to act on your own behalf.

Self-esteem is the willingness and ability to positively impact, affect and influence people and events around you.

You have an inner guidance system that drives you and guides your choice-making whether you are aware of it or not. Your system includes:

  • Vision
  • Life-purpose
  • Mission
  • Needs/Values

Your Self-esteem is deeply informed by the level and the extent of your awareness of your inner guidance system, and your deliberate intention to live consciously and be at choice.

What so many people forget is that lasting happiness, peace of mind, deep and joyful love, abundance, physical and emotional health are created primarily through who you are b‑e‑i‑n‑g rather than what you are doing or having.

You create your life and your love life through your beliefs, intentions, and the actions you take in the world.

Let’s look at each of these separate yet inter-related parts of the four corners of your inner life:

1.  Your Vision is your idea of the world you want to live in and be a part of; what you want your life to be.

When you think of your “vision”, think of your personal world of family and friends, your community, work and colleagues…everything in the world that touches you in some way every day and how you want that to be.

2.  Your Life Purpose defines YOUR part—or THE intentions and actions that you chose to take to create the type of world you want to live in—your reason for being.

You create meaningful work and a fulfilling life when you live on purpose. When your “life purpose” is clear it guides your choices and helps you know where you are headed. Life purpose is the big why, the ultimate reason for living and fills your life with meaning.

3.  Your Mission is the map or the plan that you use to carry out your purpose.

Your map or your plan is an essential element that provides the specifics; the HOW to implement that plan in your personal and professional life; the daily choices and behaviors that put into action living on purpose with vision driven by needs and values

4.  Needs/Values: the external and internal structures of your life.

Consider that to value something is to esteem it to be of worth. Your values drive your choices and actions. Your values are who you are, what you do, and how you express yourself. When you live through your values, you make decisions and choices that honor those values without regard for your desires, thoughts or fears, and your life has meaning.

So remember:  Esteeming your Self is knowing that you have worth and owning your value every day in many different ways. Becoming Self-esteeming is your most important job in life! Your very life depends on it!

Become so familiar with the four corners of your inner life that it is a part of you every waking moment–just like Norton running in the background of your computer.

Your life is most fulfilling and satisfying when you are in alignment with your vision and life-purpose; driven by values; on a mission. When you live from your being, you live a life in alignment with your vision, life purpose, needs/values.

Self-esteeming and Self-affirming behaviors are the evidence that you have decided that you are of value and have worth!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!


Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~
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