Coupleship is a way to perceive and structure a long-term, primary monogamous relationship.
Here are several essential concepts to understand and embrace:
Concept #1:
The basic attitudes of Coupleship are:
- Mutual and Reciprocal Respect
- Mutual and Reciprocal Encouragement
- Mutual and Reciprocal Affirmation
- Ability to Offer an Apology
- Ability to Receive an Apology
- Learn and Practice Feeling Vocabulary
Concept #2:
Your relationship is based on your good will and good intentions.
In a healthy Coupleship, your fundamental beliefs about yourself and your partner are:
- I am involved and invested in your present and your future.
- I value and respect you.
- I honor and support your feelings as if they were my own!
Concept #3:
Coupleship readiness requires two whole (independent) people committed to working together and being focused on being inter-dependent.
Please notice, I didn’t say being dependent or independent! Neither dependence nor independence is a particularly valuable way of being together with someone when you are building a co-created, mutual, reciprocal relationship or Coupleship.
In order to be inter-dependent in your Coupleship, you must first develop Personal Independence in these four basic ways.
- Emotional Independence—Each partner takes responsibility for his or her own feelings
- Social Independence—Each partner has the capacity to make and maintain friends
- Physical Independence—Each partner takes responsibility for taking good care of his or her own body including weight, exercise and personal hygiene
- Financial Independence—Each partner contributes financially or “in-kind” to the Coupleship
After you learn and practice Personal Independence you can bring those skills to your Coupleship and become Inter-dependent with another person who has also learned and practiced Personal Independence.
Next time we’ll explore more about Inter-dependence and the concepts of Values, Style and Temperament in your Coupleship.
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com
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