Coupleship is a way to perceive and structure a long-term, primary monogamous relationship.

Here are several essential concepts to understand and embrace:

Concept #1:

The basic attitudes of Coupleship are:

  • Mutual and Reciprocal Respect;
  • Mutual and Reciprocal Encouragement;
  • Mutual and Reciprocal Affirmation;
  • Ability to Offer an Apology;
  • Ability to Receive an Apology;
  • Learn and Practice Feeling Vocabulary.

Concept #2:

Your relationship is based on your good will and good intentions.

In a healthy Coupleship, your fundamental beliefs about yourself and your partner are:

  1. I am involved and invested in your present and your future.
  2. I value and respect you.
  3. I honor and support your feelings as if they were my own!

Concept #3:

Coupleship readiness requires two whole (independent) people committed to working together and being focused on being inter-dependent.

Please notice, I didn’t say being dependent or independent!  Neither dependence nor independence is a particularly valuable way of being together with someone when you are building a co-created, mutual, reciprocal relationship or Coupleship.

In order to be inter-dependent in your Coupleship, you must first develop Personal Independence in these four basic ways.

  1. Emotional Independence—Each partner takes responsibility for his or her own feelings;
  2. Social Independence—Each partner has the capacity to make and maintain friends;
  3. Physical Independence—Each partner takes responsibility for taking good care of his or her own body including weight, exercise and personal hygiene;
  4. Financial Independence—Each partner contributes financially or “in-kind” to the Coupleship.

After you learn and practice Personal Independence you can bring those skills to your Coupleship and become Inter-dependent with another person who has also learned and practiced Personal Independence.

Next time we’ll explore more about Inter-dependence and the concepts of Values, Style and Temperament in your Coupleship.

Remember, Only YOU can make it happen!



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