This might surprise you, but values, NOT feelings, drive your choices and behavior. Whatever your thoughts or dreams and whatever actions you take on your own behalf, honor your values and make them real in the world through your behavior (taking action):
- BE your best and most brilliant and passionate YOU
- DO that which affirms and esteems YOU
- HAVE all that BEING and DOING brings into your life
In addition to the principle of “Be, Do and Have,” let’s add the concept of “Being Congruent”: THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, ACTIONS, and BELIEFS all matching.
Whenever your thoughts, feelings, actions and beliefs don’t all match each other, your personal YOU is out of integrity. When you are out of integrity nothing (and no one) will bring you joy and the deep satisfaction you long for!
There is no feeling in the world quite like the profound contentment that comes from being congruent. Everything that has gone before it pales into insignificance beside it.
Now you own the proof of your right to be you; own your belief; and act in concert with your values. Now you have a solid permanent testimony to your determination and spirit. Now you are ready to challenge your limiting thoughts and beliefs; break out of the structures that don’t match for you; and create breakthroughs!
If you are unable to find your courage, willingness and ability to act on your own behalf, to turn your thoughts into actions and create breakthroughs in your life, check in with yourself and examine how you feel about yourself. Some of you are critical of yourselves. You already know that self-criticism will crush you. The way you feel about yourself dominates your thoughts.
Negative self-talk (inside you) and nay sayers (outside of you) will absolutely affect you. Negative thoughts and the fears—yours and those of others—are dream killers. Positive thoughts are like seedlings and with lots of sunshine, water and fertilizer they will surely grow.
So with deliberate intention, surround yourself with people who know you, like you, and trust you; and who are your cheerleaders and champions. Stay mindful that you are in control of your thoughts and your behavior; and understand that you can change them whenever it serves you to do so.
While you cannot control your feelings, you can and must chose your r-e-s-p-o-n-s-e to your feelings; and ensure that your response—your behavior—is driven by your values.
Responding is NOT reacting. Responding is being proactive on your own behalf driven by your values; not reacting from your fears.
Remember these Eight Simple Elements of the How-to:
- Every action has its basis in thought.
- YOU are in control of your thoughts.
- Turning thoughts into action requires belief in yourself.
- Be, Do and Have that which affirms and esteems your best Self!
- Thoughts, Feelings, Actions and Beliefs must all match each other.
- YOU decide with deliberate intention, what you value.
- YOU ensure that your values drive your behavior.
- YOU are in charge and responsible for your life!
It is all about YOU! Now that is a worthwhile thought!
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
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Dr. Jackie’s Relationship-focused Podcast