Accept that it’s your job to educate your partner about what makes you feel most loved.
Feeling loved, that is feeling respected, valued and celebrated, is the result of hearing your partner’s words and experiencing your partner’s actions consistently over time.
Feeling loved or happy or satisfied or competent is sourced by each of us, inside ourselves.
Love is not a feeling you feel. It is the result of a combination of words and actions that you interpret to mean love.
It is our job to help our partners know what loving words and behaviors are to us. Don’t expect the man or woman who loves you to know what to do and say so that you feel loved. Let him or her know, specifically.
Some of us enjoy sending or receiving cards and flowers. Some appreciate behaviors like getting the car washed, taking the dog for a walk or initiating an evening out.
How do you like to be touched? Do you appreciate a bear hug? A gentle pat or soft kiss as your partner walks past? How do you express affection and sexual desire?
Do you let your partner know when she or he pleases or tickles you? Do you ask, in a very gentle and respectful way, for what you need and like?
Receiving and expressing touch, affection and desires of a sexual nature are very personal and as unique to you as your fingerprints. It is your job to be as direct and candid as you can and really educate your partner about you and what you want/need and how to meet those legitimate needs.
What words resonate deep inside your heart? What behaviors tickle you or move you?
Take some time to deepen your awareness of what you need and want to hear and experience that means you are loved. Ask your partner these questions and become an expert on what makes him or her feel loved.
Remember, only YOU can make it Happen!